Ich Liebe Dich: Act 1
by jmoneybags
Summary: Story that will focus on the Asu/Shi relationship, it will deviate from original canon after ep. 15 of NGE. It will also be a long process and they won't be shipped from very early on since they both have various issues/traumas to overcome, that being said if you enjoy build-ups you should stick around. First work of lit. so I appreciate any reviews.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 "Mein crush"

_Unit 01's status is critical! The angel is merging itself with the eva!_

_-Unit 02 and 00 are on their way!_

_The pilot's sync is too high!_

_-High risk of contamination!_

_He can't take much more Major Katsuragi! What are your orders!_

The Major taped her finger on the desk repeatedly, frustration running through her body.

"Damn it! Sever the links and eject the pilot! Activate self destruct sequence now!" snarled the purple hair colored woman who was successfully hiding any look of anguish on her face.

_The self-destruct sequence has been initiated but the entry plug is not responding the eject command!_

"What! What do you mean it's not responding?! Get him out of there now!" screamed the Major at her subordinates.

_The angel's disrupting most of our systems! There's nothing we can do on this end!_

_-Wait! He could try a manual disarm!_

"I need those comms. Hyuga!" she exclaimed.

_Wait…Almost… There! Communications with unit 01 are back online Major!_

"Shinji listen to me!" said the Major hurriedly as she noted time wasn't abundant.

"The plug is not ejecting, and we've activated the self destruct sequence! You have to do a manual disarm!" she continued.

"On it" he replied fast and began to try to disarm the sequence.

"My systems aren't fully functional! I.. I can't disarm it!" he yelled frantically through the speakers.

"Shinji you have to keep try-" began to reply the major before he cut her off.

"I am trying! It's not working" he shouted desperately as he continued trying to disarm the sequence.

_Unit 02 is almost there!_

"Switch the comm. to unit 02 and 00 only!" she ordered her second in command.

_Done mam! Unit 01's comm. on isolation._

"Rei! Asuka! Shinji's entry plug is not responding, and the eva's self destruct sequence has initiated!"

"You have one minute to get him out!" finished the Major.

"What?! One minute? You can't be serious we'll never make it!" the pilot aboard unit-02 snapped back at the Major.

"Look! He can't disarm the sequence! You have one minute!" replied the Major harshly.

"Yes!" replied both pilots with hints of worry in their tones.

"Now then, Patch me to unit 01!" roared the captain.

_Unit 01 on comm. link!_

She sat on her chair, her gaze fixed on the floor and said "Shinji don't worry we launched Asuka and Rei already, they're coming to help you".

His body tensed up, but he took a big gulp and finished asking "is this it? What do the magi say?".

The Major still staring at the floor replied "Shinji that's no-" only to be cut of.

"I deserve to know damn it!" demanded the boy.

"It… It's 95… It's 0.00000095 according to the magi…" letting a tear roll down her cheek as she said it.

Everyone was quiet, strange that they'd known something like this could've happened during any fight yet no one was prepared for it, Shinji was the first to break the silence.

"Well… We all die sooner or later" He remarked regretfully.

"Shinji! Stop it, we are getting you out of there!" consorted the Major.

"No!" he exclaimed, "I don't want Asuka to get involved!" his voice starting to crack.

"Or anyone for that matter!" he finished.

She then turned to her coworker and asked "What's Unit 00 and 02's ETA?!" almost begging for the answer to be good.

_30 seconds max! But there is not enough time Major!_

_-They wont…_

Her coworker gave her a look, and she understood it right away.

"Shinji, Asuka can make it!" she said through the comms "try and use the power unit-01's got left to move towards her direction!".

"No! Tell her to stay back, if another eva gets exposed it'll be worse" he disputed.

_He's right! The angel could just merge with another unit._

_-Major we can't afford to loose another eva unit!_

"Misato, I…" he couldn't help a grin form on his face and thought to himself 'so this is how it ends eh. Damn it Asuka, I broke my promise'.

"Misato I.. I want to be the one that tells Asuka" he said in a calm manner.

"Shinji I.. I'm so sorry, we did all we could" streams of remorse running down her cheeks. "Shinji… please try to move your eva! Don't do this! Please!"

"I said I want to talk to Asuka!" he demanded.

"Ok Shinji, she's on your comm." she responded bleakly through tears.

Shinji shut down communications with hq, and clenched both his fists as he called for her.

"Asuka?" he asked in the midst of darkness in his entry plug.

"What are you stupid!? What the hell do you think you're doing **baka** Shinji!" said the red head in feisty manner.

"And of course they send me to clean up YOUR mess.. I swear what would you do without me?" She said as a smile formed on her face.

"Asuka.. I.. I-" he stopped as he started tearing up.

"I won-" she cut him off.

"Ughh Shinji just shut up! Stop being so dramatic I'll get you out of there, it's not like I'm going to let some stupid angel hurt my **baka**"

"Asuka!" he yelled, she stayed quiet noticing they way he had said it.

"Your new orders are to get clear of the area" as he said this the thought not being able to hold her one last time sunk in. His eyes had now formed a line of tears waiting to be dropped.

"What?! I'm not leaving you behind moron! Why the hell would I do that!?" Asuka said sounding a little worried.

"You just want all the glory to yourself don't you? Hah it's not gonna' happen **dummk**-" She was cut off by Shinji again.

"HEY!" he yelled.

"Asuka I'm not coming back this time!" he couldn't hold it any longer, the tears just poured out, he might as well let it all out, it was only a matter of time before he died anyways.

"Wha-?" Asuka now borderline worried "I can get you out! I'm almost there!" her eyes now red as tears streamed down.

"No Asuka! If your eva even comes near the angel you'll get hurt too and it'll be worse" he stopped for a second, mopping his tears from his face "I- I can't let you get hurt Asuka! I could never forgive myself" he told her.

She was breaking down, the thought of loosing him, it was unbearable, all this made even worse as she heard his sobs through the communications.

"You **baka**! You said you'd never leave me! I trusted you! I opened myself up to you! FUCKING LIAR! Don't leave me!" she screamed as hard as she could, frustration now consuming her as she still wasn't near enough to help him.

"Asuka, I'm doing this for you, for our child! Because I have to protect you both!" he replied.

_15 seconds until self destruct_

"No shinji! Please don't leave me behind.. I.. I… I love you!" she was now sobbing and speeding up her eva.

"I.. I know, thank you Asuka" he said looking down at a pin she got him one day, it said 'you're my idiot'.

_10 seconds to self destruct_

He continued "because although our time was short, I was happy.."

Asuka was rampaging through the city trying to reach him, all she could think about was when they first met and how drastically he'd changed.

It was true, she had fallen for him, he had slowly won her over little by little but it had taken her time to admit it to him, and even herself, however there was no point in remembering those times, she had to save him.

'Stupid **baka**! I won't let you die! I love you..' she thought as she approached his eva.

_5 seconds to self destruct_

"Asuka?" he called for her again as death approached him in the darkness of his entry plug.

_4_

"I.. I don't care what my orders are Shinji, if you die, I die.." She replied back at him.

_3_

"Asuka, don't be scared, you'll be a great mother, I bet he'll look like me, I lov-" he was cut off by static.

Asuka was about a football field's length, when she witnessed the massive explosion that engulfed unit-01 and the angel who had merged with it.

She lost it, she screamed until she couldn't, cried until she was dry, she just sat there, looking through the amassed smoke around the charred remains of unit-01.

_**Several months before**_

It was the same every night, Shinji had been woken up because of her sobs and restlessness the whole week. It was depressing watching someone like Asuka, cry and scream for her mom during her nightmares.

He usually just turned the volume on his SDAT recorder up but this time it was different he still felt bad about her. Asuka's nightmares had gotten worse and worse, and she was a lot crankier than usual too, probably as a direct effect.

Not being able to stand it any longer he stood up and walked over to her room, with every steps he sobs becoming more potent.

Once behind her door he lightly knocked and called for her.

"Asuka?" he said keeping his voice down.

No answer. However he could still hear the sobbing and movement around her bed.

It took about five minutes and a lot of sobbing for the boy to finally build up enough courage slide the door open and enter the room.

It was messy, no surprise there, he wondered how a girl like Asuka could live like this.

As he was walking over to Asuka's bed he noticed how different she looked when she was sleeping, it was strange, one might even say she looked beautiful.

However he quickly dispelled the thoughts and headed over to her bed.

When he was almost at the edge of the bed, he felt a stinging pain on his right foot, it seemed he had stepped on what seemed to be the bottom of an earring and involuntarily yelped while letting off a shriek.

The sleeping girl awoke to see the poor boy grabbing his foot with both hands and cursing quietly while balancing himself trying not to fall, needless to say he hadn't noticed she had been woken by the ruckus.

"What are you doing in my room pervert!?" screamed Asuka as she stood up and tightened her fist.

"I.. I'm sorr-" Shinji's mouth opened when he saw what Asuka was wearing. He was puzzled, he had seen Asuka in her swimming gear and the plug suit before, he had even seen her in her mini-shorts, but never had he seen her in her undergarments, he almost let out a drop of drool as he scoped her body, all that was running through his mind was how stunning the red head's physique was, it's no wonder she got asked out so much.

She had on regular white panties with a borderline color he couldn't distinguish in the night and a small v shaped blouse that revealed the majority of her inner breasts. His face turned red at the sight, however since it was dark it wasn't so obvious.

Asuka caught him staring and drooling, she quickly glanced down at her attire, after seeing what she was wearing and noticing the boy's reaction, she felt embarrassed and blushed. She then looked up at the boy again, and around that time Shinji realized he had been staring too long.

'uh-oh' he thought to himself.

"A.. Asuka, I…I… I didn't mean to-" he was cut off as she swung a punch to intercept his left eye.

"Oww! Why'd you hit me!" he remarked as he grabbed his left eye in pain.

"You're not the victim here Ikari! This serves you right for being such a pervert!" she hoarse at him trying to cover herself up with the blanket on the floor.

"Now explain yourself third! What the hell where you doing in my room and staring at me for!" she looked at him threatening his very existence.

"I.. I… em…" he babbled.

"You what?!" she intervened.

"I… I thought you were having a nightmare again and I just thought that-" she cut him off before he could explain.

"That you could what!? Take advantage of me!? You sick pervert now you're going to get it!" she looked pissed, the boy was scared, it seemed like this was his end.

He ran to the other end of the room making sure not to step on the same earring twice.

The girl saw this and exclaimed "Coward! You always run away!".

"Asuka wait! I'm being honest I just came to check on you, you where crying for your mom again" 'uh-oh why did I say that' He covered his face waiting for the punch. He was surprised when it didn't come, so he looked up and saw her there not doing anything.

'Again?' she thought to herself 'how did he know? Could he be telling the truth?'.

'No he's lying! He'd say anything to not get hit!' she convinced herself as she remembered her traumas, why'd she become a pilot in the first place, ancient repressed memories and feelings, it wasn't long before she felt tears coming to her eyes.

Meanwhile Shinji was watching in awe, Asuka's eyes were leaking, 'is she crying? What? That's impossible she would never cry in front of me'.

He broke the dreaded silence and began to say "Asuka I'm, I'm so-" she slapped him across the face.

"Leave **baka** shinji, just leave" she said very quietly.

"I'm sorry Asuka I didn't mean to bring that up, I was just worried about you" he told her trying to grab her shoulder but quickly letting go after feeling an excruciating amount of pain coming from his gut area.

'Damn she punches hard' the boy thought to himself.

All he could squeeze out was "ughh!"

"Liar" she said before she exited the room and left him there, out of wind, clenching his gut, regretting he ever entered the room.

She left for the bathroom and Shinji, being in pain and all, made sure to clear out of her room before she came back.

As he made his way back into his room, he stopped by the bathroom to ask her "Asuka are you ok?" however there was no response, he understood she didn't want to talk to him so he continued his walk to his room. Most would call him an idiot to worry about her despite her constant insults and antics, he didn't know what it was, he felt as if they were the same.

It was hot in Tokyo-3, Shinji had his window open to let the breeze run in. He decided he might as well sleep naked, it's not like anyone ever entered his room. His mind was playing games on him, he wondered 'why'd she call me a liar, I was being honest, I don't like seeing her like this' but alas after a long while his thoughts began to drift as his eyes closed and he slumbered off into the night.

Meanwhile the red head was in the bathroom, she was confused about what Shinji had said.

'Did he say he was worried about me?' she asked herself.

'He's probably lying' she pondered.

'Of all people why would he care about the one person that treats him like shit, he just said that so I wouldn't hit him…' she countered herself in her mind.

'Yeah that's probably it, he doesn't care about me, no one does… ugghh! That perverted freak just ruined my night! Tomorrow I'll get my revenge! I'll make him suffer!' Asuka smirked as she got up and exited the bathroom.

She couldn't help but feel as if she had overreacted and she stood in the hallway idly looking at his room for a few seconds before she finally decided to go back to her bed.

As she made her way through her messy room she accidentally stepped on what looked like the bottom of an earring, Asuka yelped and started jumping on one foot trying to rub the other one with both hands.

'So this is why that **baka** was making all that fuzz… still he had no right to be in my room in the first place. That idiot! Did he really think that I would buy that story, ha! What a moron!' she thought as she finally felt the stinging pain die down and she laid on her bed.

As she dozed off, her mind was on one thing and one thing only, the browned haired boy with blue eyes.

The next morning

Shinji woke up to the sound of things being tossed around, he considered it was probably Misato heading of to work and glanced at his clock, it was pretty early and he still had time to sleep, so he laid his head back thinking about the previous night and dozed off.

In Shinji's dream, he saw a Rei and Asuka, they were both in the Nerv hq locker rooms but something was off. Rei seemed a bit depressed, staring blankly into the floor, while Asuka was in tears holding one hand over her tummy.

She kept screaming "Why! You Idiot! How could you leave me behind!" meanwhile more and more tears slid down her cheeks.

The doors to the locker room slid open making a 'wooosh' sound, a dark figure stepped in, it was Ritsuko. She walked over to Asuka held her hand and said "I'm so sorry..".

"How.. How many months?" asked the doctor trying not to cause the girl any more emotional stress.

Asuka simply looked at her, wiped her tears and said "3 months, and because of you people his father is gone..".

As Ritsuko was about to say something, Shinji started hearing "Wake up! Get up moron!" and his surreal dream had vanished as his consciousness found its way back into the real world.

"Shinji you **baka**!" said an enraged red head as she flicked Shinji's forehead.

She stood over him watching as the pain woke him up confused and in disarray, he managed to say "Hey! What's the big id-" before receiving a kick to the stomach.

"Oww!" he was now fully awake and also under a lot of pain.

'I should've known she would do something like this' thought the boy.

"Way to wake somebody up!" Shinji protested as he got up from his bed to confront the red head.

Her face turned red, and she looked down with a surprised face and her jaw wide open. Shinji saw her expression and he noted how her fists were clenching.

'What did I do now?" he thought… 'Wait a minute.. I'm naked!'.

He looked down to confirm it, then looked straight at the read head as his right eye was met by a fist.

"Ahh! Not the other eye! Damn you Asuka!" he scuffled in pain as he reached for his blanket to cover himself.

"Fucking pervert! What the hell's the matter with you!" She hollered trying to keep her eyes on him as seeing Shinji naked had caused her some sort thrill.

"Me?! What about you!? Why are you in my room!?" he proclaimed at the red head who was staring at him viciously.

"Well some Idiot overslept and didn't make breakfast!" she replied, not looking at his eyes.

"Well why didn't you just knock?!" he asked.

"Oh! Don't give me that shit Ikari, I didn't see you knocking when you came into my room to watch me sleep! Pervert!" she exclaimed at him.

"What!? I did knock!" he defended.

"It's not my fault you're such a crybaby and always scream for your mom in your sleep!" he noted.

As soon as the words had left his mouth he knew he had screwed up.

'ahh shit here it comes…'

He received a slap across the cheek and the red head just stood there.

They both stood there not saying a word. Shinji finally broke the silence by saying "I'll just go make breakfast".

"You do that" she replied blankly.

As Shinji headed to the kitchen he couldn't help but feel bad. He wondered why Asuka always got violent whenever he mentioned her mom, although this time he felt he deserved it.

'I guess I'm not the only one with parental issues' thought Shinji as he headed to the kitchen and proceeded to make breakfast.

After a while Asuka came to the table and sat, they boy hadn't noticed her. She had always loved Shinji's food despite often telling him it was average if not mediocre, it always amazed her how Shinji lost himself when he was cooking, he was an entirely different person, it was almost entertaining to watch him cook… almost.

Shinji was almost finished with breakfast when he noticed the red head behind him tapping the table impatiently.

"Breakfast is almost done Asuka, how much sugar do you want in your coffee?" he said trying to start a conversation.

She didn't answer him, just stared at him, she wanted to talk about last night. Finally she broke the silence.

"Why?" she said.

"Why? Why what?" asked Shinji putting everything on the table as fast as possible in case of a surprise attack from the red head.

"Why did you come into my room last night? Be honest" she said this as she was staring into his eyes.

"I told you why." He responded.

"When you're having nightmares, you move around and usually say things, and the things you say wake me up… It's been happening for a week, yesterday I was worried so I knocked on your door but you didn't answer so I waited outside and.." Shinji stopped to choose his next words carefully.

"I finally couldn't stand it, it sickened me, it made me feel bad to know you were having those nightmares again. So I went inside, then I stepped on something pointy and well.. you woke up and now I have two black eyes.." he said laughing a little.

She laughed too.

"You got off lucky perv.." she said smiling cheekily.

"Yeah I know, wait.. why did you hit me this morning that was your fault!" he told her

"What are you stuupid!? Who sleeps naked in a shared house!? I bet you planned for that to happen" said the red head giving him a smile.

"Are you serious? Haven't you ever heard of knocking!" he yelled.

"Whatever! It's not like I wanted to see you naked.." she blushed a little and changed the subject.

"Just don't come into my room again idiot" she hissed at him.

They continued arguing until they were ready to go to school. Unfortunately they were both running late.

Asuka grabbed Shinji's hand and rallied through the city, poor Shinji was barely keeping up.

"Asuka… wa… wait!... plea.. please! I… I can't" he said this falling on his knees taking deep breaths.

"Come on loser! We are almost there!" she yelled at the boy who was just now catching his breath,

"just.. go.. I'll catch up… later" he said, finally stabilizing his respiration.

"What?! And then get yelled at by Misato for leaving you behind? Hell no! Now quit being such a baby and lets GO!" she replied as she took Shinji by the arm and ran.

The boy just nodded and continued.

When they finally made it to school the bell had already rang. They were late for class, they were deep in it this time.

"This is all your fault **baka** Shinji!" Asuka said still running and holding the boy's arm

"I told you to leave me! I'm tired! I can't run as fast as you!" the boy protested.

As they entered class the professor said.

"Ahh nice of you to join us Mr. Ikari and Ms. Sohryu"

In the back of the class room a boy smirked, he got up to greet his classmates.

"Hey look the married couple has arrived! And by the looks of it, they were busy just now!" said Touji.

Asuka and Shinji turned bright red and replied "what!? With him(her) never!"

"Uhh we… were running!" said Shinji still red.

"Is that what they call it now?" asked Touji mischievously.

"Shut up Touji!" yelled Shinji.

"Yeah shut it stooge! Why don't you go and talk to Hikari about that stuff" said Asuka, an evil grin forming on her face.

"Asuka!" yelled Hikari flushing.

Touji's face flushed.

"I don't know what you're talking about demon!" He finally yelled at her.

The professor had about enough.

"Everyone be quiet and pay attention!" He yelled as he continued to go over his lecture on the second impact.

Both students proceeded to their seats and kept quiet.

As class went by Shinji just stared at the red headed goddess in front of him, he had never seen her like this before. The sun made her silky smooth skin tinkle and her bright red hair was shining, and her eyes, he loved those bright blue eyes that mirrored him. It's no wonder so many people hit on her.

He was forced out of his fantasies when Kensuke asked him something.

"What's wrong Shin-man lost in a daydream about Asuka" The boy said loud and chuckled at Shinji's face.

"What! Noo! I. uhm.. I wasn't.. er" He said defensively.

Everyone's attention was on him, even Asuka's. Shinji didn't know what to say, but he looked at Asuka's eyes.

He instantly blushed and looked away as Kensuke said "Relax Shin-man I'm just kidding" and chuckled again.

Shinji was having a rough day, everyone was bugging him not only with Asuka but with his bruises, they weren't that noticeable and he guessed that in a couple of days they'd disappear but still he hadn't an excuse. Although he denied he liked Asuka, he couldn't help but feel like he didn't not like her, what were these feelings he was having he wondered.

'She's just my friend.. friend? Ok she's just my fellow pilot.. nothing more'

Class went by, as far as Shinji was concerned it was an eternity. As the bell for lunch break rang, Touji and Kensuke walked over to Shinji asking where he would eat.

"Guys I might just eat alone today, I gotta' think about some stuff" He answered.

"Woahh Shinji, what's wrong man? You know you can count on us" Touji told him.

"Yeah Shinji, tell us what's wrong" Said Kensuke to the depressed looking boy.

He soon realized they wouldn't take no for an answer and decided to head over to the roof with his friends following closely behind.

He explained to them that he just felt a little bit sick, however they didn't buy it, but they decided he would tell them when he was ready. They spent lunch as usual, talking about girls, grades and Misato.

*P.E. = Physical Education

When the bell rang they headed to the locker rooms as today they had P.E.

Shinji wore his usual track shorts, and jersey, and as he headed out to the track field he looked at the pool, it seemed that the girls were doing freestyle today.

Asuka was there too, she was the first one to finish the rally, she was really good at sports, to be fair she was good at almost everything it seemed.

'Except being nice' the boy chuckled to himself.

She got out of the pool, and stood by the fence not noticing the wandering eyes that were gazing on her.

Shinji was amazed, how could it be that every time he looked at her she was more beautiful. She turned to look around and saw he was looking at her, it was strange, she was enjoying him looking at her, she blushed a bit but he was to far away to notice.

After a few seconds he just shook it off and proceeded to run his laps.

Hikari finished her rally and saw Asuka by the fence looking out at the track field daydreaming and asked her. "What's wrong Asuka? Is it Shinji?"

"What?! Why would I be thinking about that idiot?!" She replied defensively.

"Hey it just seems like you guys are acting differently" Hikari replied trying to calm her down.

"Yeah right, as if I would ever think about a dweeb like that" As she said this, she thought about him looking at her, she blushed a little again.

"Asuka you can talk to me about anything. Ok?" Hikari said to her.

"I know, then let's talk about you and Touji" She said as a familiar evil grin formed on her face.

"Wha…I don't kno… Nothing is going on!" Hikari blushed.

"Yeah right! I've seen how you look at that jock. I just don't see what you see in h-". She was cut off by hikari.

"Well! You look at Shinji the same way!" Hikari yelled, and then covered her mouth realizing what she just said out loud.

"ugghh! No I don't he's just a wimpy little kid and my coworker!" She angrily replied.

"Sorry I didn't mean to say that" Apologized Hikari.

"It's ok, sorry for bugging you with the retar-" Asuka was saying.

"Hey!" Hikari said giving her a look.

They both talked for a few minutes and went back in the pool to do the next rally. Asuka had a lot on her mind, mostly Shinji, but swimming always relaxed her and helped her forget unpleasant things.

After she finished first, the instructor told her she could go change, and so she headed to the locker rooms.

When she got to the locker room, she sat down near a corner and began to question what was happening to her. It saddened her that she was starting to feel things for Shinji, things she couldn't explain.

She recalled the various times she had hit him or insulted him, and tears started to form, he was always so nice to her, he even checked up her when she had nightmares.

She knew he liked her, she'd known for a while, but she just thought it was more of a superficial thing and that's why she teased him, but now she was starting to think otherwise.

She dispelled any feelings about him and thought it the best path to go, because to open one's heart is weakness she thought.

"It's better like this" She whispered to herself and began to cry.

Meanwhile on the track field, Shinji, Kensuke and Touji were finishing their laps, Shinji was about to faint when he crossed the finish line, running wasn't his forte.

"Shin-man! You ok? You look like a tractor ran you over" Said Kensuke patting him on the back.

"I… I hate running, especially since it's always so hot here" Replied Shinji.

"Hey guys lets go check out the girls swimming class!" Suggested Touji.

"No thanks guys, I might call it a day, I'm pretty tired" Said Shiji.

"Oh yeah? Did Asuka keep you up all night?" Implied Touji.

"Yeah…" Shinji said calmly not taking into consideration what he had said.

Kensuke and Touji's mouths dropped.

"Shinji you sly dog! How'd you manage?" Touji was eager to know everything.

"Yeah Shin-man tell us how it was" Kensuke begged.

"I bet she's a real devil in bed isn't she?" Touji asked.

"What?!" Said Shinji now understanding what they meant.

"Guys it was nothing like that, she just has nightmares and I can't sleep because she makes too much noise" he explained.

"Anyways I'm off guys good luck with the girls" he finished as he walked off towards the locker rooms.

Kensuke and Touji left standing there with confused faces.

As Shinji made his way to the locker rooms he heard the sound of someone crying. It was coming from the girl's locker room, he hesitated before entering, he decided to wait.

After about 2 minutes he asked "Hey is someone crying in there?".

It suddenly got really quiet, he was worried, he said "I'm coming in ok?".

Then he heard it.

"No don't come in I'm fine" It sounded like Asuka, but like if she was trying to alter her voice.

He went inside looking for the source of those cries and saw her, in a corner, her eyes were red and watery.

'Is this because of what I said?' He asked himself.

No matter, he just ran towards her to and kneeled to ask her what was wrong.

"Asuka what's wrong? Tell me! Do you need me to carry you to the infirmary?" He asked her showing sings of concern on his face.

"I'm fine Idiot! Just drop the nice guy act and leave me alone I don't want to see you!" she hoarse at him.

"Asuka I-" he began to say as he was cut off.

"Didn't you hear me?! Stop pretending you care about me! I don't like you Shinji!" she knew those words had hurt him, but she had to cut him off before anything could ever happen, it was better that way, she thought.

Shinji's face went from concerned to gloomy, he stood up and said "ok".

He exited the locker room quietly not saying a word, not even lifting his gaze from the ground. Why did those words hurt me so much, he wondered. He took a shower, changed his clothes and walked out the locker room to find Asuka in front of him.

They gazed at each other and she asked "are you going home?".

To which he replied with a cold "yes".

They both walked home. In silent, Shinji was just looking at the ground the whole time, Asuka was just looking anywhere but him, she couldn't stand seeing him like this especially knowing that she had developed some strange feelings for him.

When they got to the apartment, each one went their separate ways, Shinji stood in the hallway and watched her as she rushed to her room, then he proceeded to sit in the couch.

It seemed all that was ever in his mind was the red head, it was strange, she made him hurt so much, yet when she wanted to, she could cheer him up. It had been a long day and he was tired, he closed his eyes and escaped the world.

After a while the boy woke up to someone tapping him on this shoulder, it was Asuka and she looked beautiful, she was all dressed up wearing a black dress that detailed her body perfectly, had make up on, though to be honest she didn't need it, and had an aroma that was intoxicatingly pleasant to say the least.

He smiled and asked "what's this all about?" as he sat up on the chair and looked at her.

She couldn't look him in the eyes still, so she looked the other way and said "I'm going on a date with one of Hikari's friends, don't make me dinner ok?" she told the boy.

At this he looked the other way, and simply nodded and said "fine".

He heard the door shut behind him, and decided he wasn't hungry, instead he headed to his room took his SDAT player and started to think about what was happening to him.

'Asuka will never like me, she doesn't even see me as a friend, I'm nothing to her.. it's not like I care anyways, I wonder when she'll be back though, perhaps I should make her dinner' at that moment he remembered what she had told him "I don't want to see you".

As he lay in his bed, he thought 'why do you do this to me Asuka?' the thought of her being out with another man enraged him, made his blood boil.

'Fine, I don't care' he thought to himself and drifted off in a profound slumber.

He woke a few hours later and decided to take out his cello, and start to play. He loved playing his cello, contrary to what he had thought, the best thing his teacher had ever made him do, was learn to play it, it was just so soothing playing melodies from the heart.

He must've played for an hour, before starting to feel hungry. He went to the kitchen and made something to eat for Misato and himself. Before he could forget it, he also gave pen-pen his food and then sat down to eat alone.

"I guess this isn't so bad, I've always been alone, no reason to change now" He told himself.

Despite saying that, he didn't believe a word of it, he hated being alone, hated the fact that Asuka was with some boy God knows where.

He ate, washed the dishes and the realized 'I don't need her', he took his jacket got dressed up and walked out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Feelings

It was chilly outside, the moon could barely be seen through the dark clouds.

Shinji just kept walking, he didn't even mind the fact that it had just started raining. The setting matched his mood, which made it all more depressing. He was tired of thinking about Asuka, he was enraged at her obnoxious behavior, and at the same time, he couldn't help but envy her date.

He tightened his fists and put them into his jacket's pockets. He had been walking a while and was now entering Tokyo-3's central park. He loved walking by the park, it was always so tranquil.

As followed the main path he soon came up to a bench, he decided to sit a while and ponder about his feelings. When he sat down across the path was a couple, they were kissing quite passionately, and he couldn't help but stare at them.

It was strange seeing them devour each other in a public place, but then again it was raining, who else would watch them.

He recalled the last time he had kissed Asuka, it was the night Misato went drinking with Kaji.

Asuka had asked him "Shinji I'm bored, want to kiss me?".

Shinji gazed at her confused and asked "you want to kiss me because you're bored?".

After a few insults from the red head, she finally convinced him to do so. At first he was thrilled at the thought of kissing her, even if it was only out of boredom.

However as their lips drew near each other, nothing happened. Instead Asuka made a smug remark.

"Hey! Your breathing is tickling me! Stop breathing!" she said smugly.

"Wha-" was all Shinji managed to say before she plucked his nose and kissed him.

Even now he still laughed a little at the shared experience. He wondered if she would kiss her date today, he hoped not.

Shinji had been staring at the couple for a while now, he was invisible to them, in their world all that existed was each other and nothing else, not even the rain.

He saddened when he imagined Asuka with the other boy and stared kept staring at the couple, envying their mutual feelings to each other.

'What fools, they're just deceiving each other' he thought.

"Idiots" he murmured as he kept walking.

As Shinji exited the park he had no destination in mind, he just walked along areas where he saw crowds of people. He thought it would help him forget the fact that he felt alone, and it was intriguing to see how all the people he passed by were smiling, or laughing, however after a miniscule amount of time it started to sicken him.

Shinji couldn't stand their happiness, or maybe he just envied them, he wasn't sure. Maybe it's because he realized that despite being surrounded by all those people, he knew he was still alone, alone meaning he had no one to confide in, that the one person he had thought would be his pillar, turned out being a bulldozer. He just wanted to get away from them, and so little by little, at some point Shinji was alone again.

The rain had stopped pouring, but Shinji was already soaking wet, every time he took a step it was like he stepped in a puddle inside his shoe, it was quite annoying to say the least.

As Shinji made his way through a barren street a breeze started to pass by, he shivered down to his bones. He enjoyed seeing the street empty, he felt like he was the last person on earth.

'This is better' he thought and continued walking.

Shinji had walked for quite a while, his feet were sore and his legs ached. He thought that maybe it was time to go home, but shortly afterwards he began to think about Asuka and refused to go back, at least not today.

Shinji was getting near Rei's apartment and thought it convenient to spend the night there, maybe she could give him some dry clothes, although he doubted it. He walked up to the building and stood near the stairs, he looked around and saw the state of decay the building was in. There was garbage everywhere, the lights were flickering, there was even a homeless man sleeping under the stair case.

Despite it not being the first time he had been here, it never ceased to amaze Shinji how Rei managed to live in a place like this. He jumped a little when the homeless man shifted in his cardboard bed, watching him made Shinji recall his homeless days.

'It could be worse for me…' he thought as he stared at the homeless man.

Shinji didn't mind sleeping on the streets, he had done so a few times, one of those being when he ran away from Misato's apartment. He had been out for nearly a week, in that time, he had to sleep wrapped around cardboard in alleyways to prevent himself from freezing to death.

Shinji at the time had money saved up, so he never went a day with the feeling of starvation, the man in front of him however, it seemed like he hadn't eaten in ages.

'There's nothing I can do, all the stores are closed' he thought as he kept looking at him.

He soon broke out of his gaze and made his way up the stairs, he hadn't noticed the entirety of how tired his legs were, it was when he began climbing the stairs that he realized, his legs felt heavy and worn out, they were begging him to stop walking.

'Asuka's running this morning, the track practice and the mindless walking have taken their toll on me' thought the boy.

With time and effort, Shinji managed to reach Rei's floor, he slowly walked over to her door and remembered the last time he had been there.

'I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't open' he though gloomily as he knocked on the door.

There was no answer.

"I thought so.." he said as he stood there a frown forming on his face.

After about a minute he sat down next to the door and leaned his head against the wall. It had been a long day, and for some reason he kept thinking of her, even after all she had done to him.

He knocked again and waited.

Still there was no answer. He decided to go ahead and see if the door was open.

'Voila!' the door had no lock. As he stepped inside he called out for his friend.

"Rei? Rei you in here?" he asked cautious of not tripping over anything on the floor.

After inspecting the whole apartment he realized she wasn't there.

'How strange.. Where else would she be?' the boy questioned himself.

'Oh well, I hope she doesn't come back until tomorrow' the boy thought as he began taking off all his wet clothes.

He was a bit tired, and the floor wasn't exactly comfortable, he would have slept in her bed but it somehow felt rude. Not that breaking into her apartment wasn't already rude but it seemed worse if she walked in and caught him sleeping on her bed.

'I don't want any problems' he thought to himself.

As Shinji started to feel the need for rest intensifying he closed his eyes, it was but a matter of seconds before he dozed off into the cold night.

_**The next morning**_

The sun was coming into view, its light making the city shine. Tokyo-3 was quite a sight in the mornings as the buildings came out of their armored bunkers and made the city's skyline grow.

Shinji was still profound asleep on Rei's apartment floor, he would usually be up and about to school with Asuka at around this time, but today his body just continued resting.

Shinji woke up later in the morning when a patch of sunlight managed to reach his eyes. As he awoke from his deep slumber he couldn't help but feel a bit dizzy, his head was experiencing the strongest migraine he ever had and his nose was also stuffed, he figured he had caught a cold of some sort, after all he did spend the majority of the night walking around in soaked clothes, and he had slept with his damp boxers.

Shinji thought it best to leave before Rei showed up. He wondered where she had spent the night, this was her home after all. He thought that perhaps she might have been with his father.

"Father…" he said despicably.

His clothes were now dry, he got up groggily to put them on. His body felt really weak, as he analyzed his condition he remembered something Kensuke had said. "You look like a tractor ran you over" Kensuke had told him.

Shinji smiled a little at the thought and said "I feel like it too".

As soon as he was ready he exited the apartment, but not before leaving Rei a note of gratitude and also his sincerest apologies for intruding in her space.

Shinji walked down the stair case to the first floor, he was leaving the complex, but he decided to glance back at where the homeless man had been sleeping.

He was gone now, but his cardboard bed was still there.

'I guess this is his home' he thought to himself as he turned back around and continued walking away.

During some point of his walk back home, Shinji started to feel a fever running through his body, he felt awful. He had to sit down for a while to recuperate some strength. He noticed the day was beautiful, or it seemed like it anyways, there were no dark clouds anywhere.

If yesterday's climate matched his mood, today did as well, he had forgotten all about Asuka and her obnoxiousness, and despite having that bitter cold, he couldn't help but feel happy, he didn't know why but he embraced it anyways.

He finally stood up, and continued his journey to his apartment.

It was a challenge for Shinji getting to apartment, during his walk back he had to rest periodically when his migraine and fever would intensify, making what was a thirty minute walk, elongate to an hour or so.

When he finally reached his apartment building he smiled a little.

'This is my home!' he thought to himself.

'It's also her home..' said another voice in his head that he chose to ignore.

He walked towards the door and opened it. There was dead silence in the apartment, his guess was that neither Asuka or Misato were home. As he entered he couldn't help but notice the mess in the kitchen.

'I guess that was Misato's try at making breakfast' he thought as a smile formed on him.

Shinji looked around the apartment, and confirmed its solace. He made an imaginary list of what he would do.

'First I'll bathe with a hot shower, then I'll take some meds for the migraine, fever and something to clear up my nose, third I'll make some food for me and pen-pen, and after I'm done I'll take a nap'.

Shinji entered the bathroom and undressed, he suddenly felt frail and cold, not liking these sensations he turned the valve to let the hot water spray out the faucet. It was rare for him to take a hot shower, since Asuka always wasted the hot water in the heater, and if he ever wasted it, she would abuse him physically and verbally non stop all day.

'Doesn't she do that anyways?' he thought.

Shinji's symptoms were becoming worse, his migraine and fever were both becoming stronger and his nose was completely clogged, he quickly finished his shower and got dressed into his sleeping attire.

Shinji headed towards the kitchen and grabbed a hold of whatever medicine he could find, after reading them all carefully he took an Advil for the migraine and a Dolex for the fever and stuffy nose.

After organizing the kitchen, Shinji managed to make some scrambled eggs for him and pen-pen, which he hadn't seen around since he got home.

Shinji left pen-pen's food served and finished his meal. He headed towards the bathroom to brush his teeth, and locked the door behind him as he entered. He looked at himself in the mirror, he was pale and had dark circles under his eyes. He didn't really mind the appearance, he just finished his business in the bathroom and headed towards his room.

Shinji was inside his room, when he heard rustling movements coming from the hall way. He peered out and saw pen-pen, he had something in his beak though.

Shinji looked closer at it seemed like a woman's undergarments.

"Oh crap! It's Asuka's panties!" he sheered at the bird.

"Hey! You can't have those!" yelled Shinji as he ran towards the bird.

However pen-pen was quite fond of these panties, and he certainly wasn't about to loose them. So the bird started running from Shinji.

"Hey! Pen-pen! Come on! You're going to get me into trouble" he reasoned with the bird.

However the bird ignored his pleas. It was a spectacle, the bird had ran around the house avoiding being captured by the boy. Despite his efforts pen-pen found himself cornered at some point during the chase, Shinji had him in his room and he was an easy prey.

Shinji lunged for the panties and managed to grab on one end of them, however pen-pen staring pulling. Both contestants were pulling furiously for Asuka's panties, neither willing to let go of the undergarments. Finally pen-pen considered it too much work and let go of his end, sending Shinji flying back into his desk and collapsing on the floor unconscious with Asuka's panties on his hand.

_**Meanwhile at school**_

Asuka had been drifting in and out of her thoughts all morning, she recalled what she had said to Shinji the day before and felt a bit of remorse. She realized that he wasn't a bad guy, he was just and idiot who liked a girl who was way out of his league.

'That idiot didn't even come home last night' she thought as she considered the possible whereabouts of said idiot.

'He could've stayed with one of the two stooges, but which one?'.

'I'll just have to ask them later if they've seen him' she noted to self.

Hikari had noticed her friend's mood today and had a gut feeling it had to do with her date last night, however knowing Asuka's temper she decided not to pester her with questions during class, instead she would catch up with her friend during lunch break.

"Asuka, I need to talk to you during lunch break" she whispered to her.

Asuka grinned, questioning Hikari's motives but finally accepted "ok, but what about?" she asked her friend.

"Don't worry, we'll talk later" said Hikari smiling at her.

"Fine.." Asuka replied hesitantly.

The remainder of the class was pretty dull, most of the things being taught here she already knew. Perhaps this was the reason why she didn't enjoy school, because it wasn't a real challenge.

Asuka wanted to go home early, maybe Shinji was already back, not that she cared, she just wanted to see him, so she could punch him for not being able to make her breakfast and lunch in the morning.

As lunch break rolled in Asuka glanced at the back of the room hoping to find Shinji's moronic friends. 'Bingo!' she thought as she saw the two rejects gagging over some girls out in the track.

"Hey neanderthals!" she yelled from across the classroom at the pair in the back.

"What do you want demon!" replied Touji furious for being distraught from his daily peepshow.

"Do you know where Shinji is?" she asked ominously.

"How should we know you're the one that lives with him" replied Kensuke.

"Yeah, and why do you care anyways?" said Touji mockingly.

"I don't care! Misato made me ask!" she said as rage was covering her face.

"Relax both of you" said Kensuke trying to calm both of them down.

"The truth is we really don't know" he finished.

Asuka gave a slight look of worry which was at an instant noticed by both idiots.

"Worried about little Shinji are we?" they said mocking her facial expression from a few moments earlier.

"Ughh! You two are absolute idiots! Why did I even bother to ask you!?" she hollered as she walked outside the classroom slamming the door behind her.

"What's with the demon today?" Touji asked Kensuke.

"I don't know, there is something weird going on here…" said Kensuke adjusting his glasses.

"And I'm going to get to the bottom of it" he finished as they both smirked.

Outside the classroom the red head was with her back against the wall thinking about that moron.

'**Baka** Shinji.. Could something bad have happened to you?' She worried a little and crossed her fingers hoping wherever he was, he was ok.

She couldn't believe she was worrying for such a scoundrel but she then concluded that it was because she needed him 'I have to worry.. if he was gone, who would make my food?' her mind stated trying to hide any sort of feelings for the boy.

She saw a boy who looked like Shinji a little across the hallway, her heart nearly skipped a beat.

'Oh thank God it's him' she thought as she approached him.

"Hey Shin-" she stopped when she turned the boy and realized it wasn't him.

"Hey Asuka" said the boy thrilled to see her talking to him.

"Beat it jerkoff!" she shouted at him.

She was trying to hide her disappointment as the boy walked away in shame.

"Stupid Shinji" she whispered.

"Who?" asked Hikari who had walked up to Asuka unnoticed.

"Ahh! Ermm… No one" said Asuka jumping a little from the surprise.

Hikari looked at her strangely but then made conversation.

"Sooo?" she asked intrigued.

"Sooo what?" Asuka replied.

"Weeell? How was it? You need to tell me everything!" she demanded excitedly.

"The date? It was God awful, the guy's a total idiot!" she said in a bickering tone.

"Oh" was all Hikari managed to say after her smile turned into a frown.

"Well, what happened?" she asked.

"I don't know, it's the way he was, and what he wasn't" Asuka replied thinking 'he wasn't Shinji'.

Her friend read her mind almost immediately.

"Oh so you wanted more of a Shinji type?" said Hikari teasing her.

"What! How could you say that Hikari!?" she howled at Hikari.

"Ok, ok, calm down I was just joking" Hikari said nervously.

"Good! I don't want to hear that kind of nonsense again" said the red head irritated.

"Ok... Hey! Did you hear?" Hikari asked her friend with an 'I know something no one else does' look.

"Hear what?" asked Asuka intrigued at the information she was about to receive thinking maybe it was about Shinji.

"I think that girl with the ponytails from 2-B likes Shinji!" she asked.

"Isn't that great Asuka?" finished Hikari.

Asuka frowned a little, but said "I thought no one would be blind enough to like him" thinking 'except me' as she finished her statement.

"What! No! He's a real charmer! He's just so different from all the other guys" Hikari stated.

"Hey! I thought you liked the jock!" Asuka roared at her friend.

"Asuka! Shut up!" said Hikari blushing as she looked around to see if anybody had heard.

"What's wrong with you!?" hissed Hikari.

"Ughh nothing, it's just that I thought you were going to say something more interesting is all…" Asuka said as she began to think 'He's mine… I won't let her take him'.

They were both silent for a couple of seconds. Asuka was the one to break the silence.

"So is she pretty?" she asked trying to look uninterested.

"Well…" began Hikari "Uh.. well.. She's kind of pretty" at this Asuka shot her a look that made her shiver.

"Bu… but not as pretty as you Asuka!" she retorted trying to not make her angrier.

"Well I don't think Shinji would be interested in her anyways.." she said.

"Yeah right…" murmured Hikari sarcastically.

"What was that!?" Asuka shouted nearly leaving Hikari deaf.

"Uh.. that it's late! We should eat our lunches!" babbled Hikari trying to cover up.

They both talked for a little while, and then proceeded to eat their lunches. Since Asuka didn't have one today Hikari shared half of hers. They laughed at the idea of Shinji being with a girl and soon afterwards the bell rang.

"Hey Hikari I have a sync test today so I have to go early" the red head lied.

"Oh, ok Asuka good luck" said Hikari as she entered the classroom.

"Thanks for sharing!" said Asuka grateful to her friend.

"No prob.!" shouted Hikari from inside the classroom

As Asuka exited the school her mind was twirling, she was shocked at her friend's revelation that a girl was interested in Shinji. It baffled her, she never thought it possible.

It didn't matter though, because Shinji liked her, her alone, and nothing would ever change that, would it?

'Perhaps I've been too mean, I mean… how must've he felt yesterday when I told him I was going on a date..' her eyes started gleaming as they got watery.

'Damn it! Why is it so hard for me to accept that I feel something for him' she thought as the tears started dropping one by one.

Asuka had always pushed people away, she did it to protect herself from being hurt. This boy had changed things, the more she pushed him away, the more she seemed to hurt in his absence. She was tired of being so arrogant, but she was afraid, afraid of him, somehow he was getting through her deepest barriers.

It frightened her, to let him near, to let him close, she was so tempted to do so, but in the end she never caved.

Yesterday he showed her he really cared, that made her smile a little, but it didn't keep the tears from coming out.

By the time Asuka got home, she had cried herself out, it was a strange thing, to be this influenced by that idiot. Either way she was eager to see if he was already home.

"Home sweet home" she said.

She knew the minute she entered he was back, how? Well the kitchen was clean, who else would clean it but the maid of the house, Shinji.

Asuka placed her backpack on the kitchen table and walked silently towards Shinji's room. His door was open, and she saw him there lying on the floor. She actually liked seeing him sleep, he looked different she couldn't tell what it was but she liked it.

She was happy he was back and almost got down to hug him but then she recalled the restless night she had worrying about him and whereabouts and whatever hint of happiness she was showing, quickly turned into anger.

"What are you stupid!? You had us worried sick!" she remarked at the unconscious Shinji.

Shinji's cold mixed with the hard impact from the table, had left him in an unconscious state that seemed like it was going to last a few more hours. So at the sound of Asuka's shouting his body just turned around and faced a different direction.

Asuka was left in shock, he just ignored her! How could he!

"Hey! I'm talking to you!" she said as she kneel down and shook him violently.

They boy shivered and began to hyperventilate, and he still hadn't woken up.

Asuka was left confused, she put her hand over his forehead and noticed he was burning up. This worried her, she ran out to the bathroom and grabbed the nearest towel, soaked it, and brought back to place on his forehead.

"Uggh! Figures you do something stupid like get sick and I have to take care of you.." she said warmly to him.

She thought it better for Shinji to rest on his bed with some covers. She took the covers and left them on the table and got close to Shinji ready to pick him up. As she was about to lift him up she noticed he had some sort of cloth in his right hand.

She slowly reached for it, it seemed familiar. She grabbed the cloth, pried it free of his hand and began unfolding it, her jaw dropped as she realized it was one of her used panties. She was enraged.

"What the hell! You're such a pervert! Even when you're sick!" hollered Asuka at the boy who yet again just turned to face another direction.

"I can't believe you.. You really are a sick bastard" she finally said as she shook her head.

"You're going to get better Ikari!" she demanded "and then I'm going to kick your ass!"

She proceeded to place him on his bed, it was good Shinji didn't weight so much, otherwise it would've been impossible for her.

She covered him in three layers of covers, fixed his pillow and placed a new moist towel on his forehead.

She sat down next to Shinji in the end of the bed where his head was. She placed her palm on his neck to see how his fever was doing. It had dropped exponentially, she was glad he was getting better.

Asuka noticed the bruises he had on his eyes 'you left me no choice idiot, you were being a pervert' she thought while she caressed his face.

"I was worried about you baka" she whispered as she looked at him.

Asuka noticed the room had gotten hot, for some reason being near him had her all worked up. Her breaths were slow and heavy as she kept looking at the boy. For a split second the idea of kissing him crossed her mind, it was a pleasant thought.

She lowered her head in front of his and felt his breath on her lips, almost immediately she felt a shiver run down her spine.

She was biting her lips anxious to taste him and got closer to him, their lips separated by a thin strand of air.

'Not like this' her mind said as he got up hesitantly from the bed.

Asuka's hearth was beating really fast and she felt awfully hot, so much so she had started sweating 'how can that idiot make me feel like this?' she questioned herself.

Asuka felt the need to cool down, so she headed towards the kitchen. She figured Shinji would be starving when he woke up, so she was willing to make him something to eat.

Granted Asuka wasn't the greatest cook, she was still making her best effort, she was using pen-pen to see if the flavor was right or to see if the food was even edible, however after a while the bird had disappeared leaving no trace behind.

'My cooking can't be that bad, can it?' she thought as she finished Shinji's meal.

A yawn was heard through the whole apartment as Asuka finished cooking. Shinji had finally woken up.

Shinji opened his eyes, everything was blurry. He saw the figure of a girl approaching him with what seemed like a bowl.

He started sitting up, but let out a groan as he fell back into the embrace of his warm bed. The figure started laughing at his failed attempt. He recognized that laughter anywhere.

As Shinji's eyes adjusted to the afternoon light, he saw her, she was radiant and he had to let her know.

"You look nice today Asuka" he said smoothly making her cheeks turn a bit pink.

"Today!? What do you mean today!? Are you saying I look bad the other days!?" she hazed as she glared at him.

"Uh.. ah.. Well see.. I meant.." he managed to say, looking like a complete idiot.

"Relax **dummkopf**, I was just joking" she said serenely.

"Oh" he said before chuckling a little "you really got me there Asuka".

There was an awkward silence between them, Asuka soon shattered it though.

"So how are you feeling?" she asked him.

"Well my migraine is gone, but my body feels really sore, I think it's the fever" he replied.

'Why is she acting so nice?' he thought.

"Here let me see" said Asuka before setting the bowl on the table and placing her palm on his neck.

At the touch of her hand, he felt his body stimulate, her touch felt pleasant. He didn't know what it was about it, it just made him quiver. He blushed a little, and looked away to conceal it.

Asuka noticed and asked him "what's wrong Shinji?".

This was it, she was going to get her revenge! she thought thrilled.

"Uh… It's nothing.. It's the fever" he replied.

Shinji's heart was pounding faster and faster as the red head began to get closer to him.

"Does this feel good Shinji?" she asked as her hand started sliding down his chest.

"Asuka… What are.. What are you doing?" he muttered in confusion and pleasure.

"You want me to stop great Shinji?" she said smirking.

'Great Shinji? That doesn't seem like Asu-' his thoughts being detained by her touches.

"No" he said mesmerized by the feeling.

Asuka had him right where she wanted, now it was time to make him suffer for leaving and for taking her panties.

Asuka turned the boy's head around and looked right into his eyes.

"Close your eyes Shinji I've got a surprise for you" she said seductively.

Shinji did as he was told, he closed his eyes and waited. It was strange he had originally thought Asuka was going to mop the floor with him, however he never expected this, it was perfect.

'Too perfect' he thought as he opened his eyes.

Asuka's hand had already reached his cheek when he opened them, it tingled at first, then he felt the pain growing. The sting became more intense as he realized she had given him the hardest slap he had ever experienced.

"Owww! You crazy bitch!" he shouted at her in pain.

"That's for leaving yesterday! Not that I give an ounce of a fuck about you!" she said furious.

She took impulse and slapped him again in the other cheek.

*wicher is german for wanker

"And that's for being a dirty **wicher** and taking my panties! Freak!" she finished.

The boy's mood had been torn to shreds. One minute he was feeling great, and thought he was finally going to be able to kiss her again. The next, he had both hands on his cheeks swearing at the red headed German who had struck him out of nowhere.

"Ugghh you know what this is why I left! I've had it with your constant abuse!" Shinji screamed at her.

"Maybe if you would grow a spine and stopped being such a pervert I wouldn't treat you like this!" she exclaimed.

"Ohhh please! Get over yourself! Like I would want your panties!" he shouted, he was starting to feel dizzy again.

"Then why did you have them in your hand! Just admit that you're a sick bastard!" she hoarse.

"Well maybe if I didn't have Babylon's biggest whore in my house I wouldn't be such a sick bastard!" he said loudly as everything was becoming fuzzy.

"What the fuck did you call me!?" Asuka roared as both her fist tightened.

"You heard m-" Shinji said before loosing consciousness again.

"Nooo! Wake up **baka**! I'm not done with you Ikari!" she shouted at the boy who just turned to face another direction.

"**Scheisse**!" she screamed as she took her bowl with soup and left the room.

_**Some time later**_

It was around midnight when Shinji woke up, his head was throbbing and he was starving, his stomach rumbled as he sat up on the bed to look around. He remembered a bit of what had elapsed earlier in his room, he felt ashamed of what he had said.

'Babylon's biggest whore?' he chuckled at that, he knew it was serious but it made him laugh, still he had to apologize to her.

After enough reminiscing he got up from his bed and walked to the kitchen, there he found a complete mess. 'Damn it.. I cleaned this morning too' he thought shaking his head at the sight.

On the kitchen counter was the bowl Asuka had brought him, there was a plate on top of the bowl covering it from any mosquitoes. Curious to see the contents of said bowl he took the plate off and saw what seemed to be a stew or soup of some sort.

'Had Asuka made that for me?' he thought to himself.

He grabbed a spoon, the bowl and headed to the living room. It had been a while since he watched some television, however it's not like he enjoyed watching it either, there were some really fucked up shows in Misato's cable provider to say the least.

Shinji took a sip of the soup, at first he was hesitant to do so, since Asuka didn't necessarily excel in cooking like she did in piloting. He was quite surprised that it had such a good taste, he needed to get the recipe from her.

After Shinji was done eating and being traumatized by the television, he decided to clean the kitchen again since he didn't have to worry about waking up early tomorrow, it being Saturday and all.

It was a kind gesture of Asuka to make him that soup, but couldn't she have cleaned the mess she had made in the kitchen too!? It was always him that ended up cleaning everything, everything except Asuka's room, she didn't like him snooping around in there.

Shinji started with the dishes, then the garbage around the table and finally he swept and mopped the floor. It took him a while but he was done, and he wasn't entirely tired enough to sleep yet, after all, he had slept all day.

Shinji glanced at Asuka's room, her door was slightly slid open, he thought maybe this was his best bet at apologizing without her beating him to a pulp, but he recalled what happened the other day and was discouraged.

'Ughh.. What do I do?' his mind asked.

After a few moments of decision making he made up his mind.

"Well… We all die sooner or later" he said to himself as he smirked.

Shinji walked over to her room, trying to be as quiet as possible. When he got there, he slowly slid the remainder of the door open, done this he glanced at her to make sure she was still sleeping.

Asuka was sleeping profoundly as Shinji entered her room. The boy watched his step making sure to not step on any pointy objects, or anything that would make a sound.

Shinji walked through her garbage filled room and made it to her bed, it was quite the odyssey, he stood there silently contemplating her beauty, she looked different when she was sleeping, she looked peaceful, but he enjoyed her temper, it's what made her who she was.

Shinji caressed her hair, she looked quite cute. Even when she wasn't trying to look pretty, the red head managed to pull it off.

Shinji was nervous, he had no idea how to start, but he was determined to do so. He laid down next to her and stared at her, unfortunately he was facing her back. However that wasn't going to stop him, he wanted to make things right.

Shinji moved his head a bit closer to hers so she could hear him.

"Asuka I'm sorry for what I said earlier, I didn't mean any of that" he whispered to her ear.

He was in awe when the red head shifted positions and began to face him, it seemed she was still sound asleep though.

Shinji didn't like being so close to her, it made him feel strange things, and he found himself fighting urges he would normally not even consider.

For one, he wanted to cover her body with his, he wanted to feel her skin come into contact with his, it was all so strange to him.

Shinji was now breathing heavy, trying to focus on the reason he had come here.

"Asuka… Will you forgive me?" he asked her softly as his hand moved up to remove some strands of hair that were covering her face.

The red head still asleep said "yes" and snuggled up to him.

"Whaa.. What are you doing Asuka?" he asked as his body tensed up surprised at her reaction.

There was no response from her. Shinji actually felt comfortable in his current state and decided to relax his body, and it's not like he didn't enjoy the feeling of having her curled up to him, because he did, he very much enjoyed it.

Shinji stayed awake for a while, he hadn't the need for sleep, but he still didn't want to move from his current position, he liked being there with her, even if it made him feel uneasy at times when he started to think about touching her.

As the night prolonged slowly but surely, the boy began to fall into a world of slumber.

Author's notes: I had trouble with one scene in this chapter, the one where Asuka and Shinji fight, I re-wrote it about 10 times, that's why the publish date had to be moved until today and it wasn't yesterday as I had stated to some of you before.

I appreciate any review, like the description says it's my first work of literature and I'm just getting the hang of this.

Good night everyone and Chapter 3 will probably be up by Tuesday night, if not Wednesday morning.

Yours truly,

JCM


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Rejection & Regret

It was dark and eerie, the oxygen he inhaled was thick and tainted the scent with smoke and blood. Shinji made his way through the chasm, using his palms and the end of his fingers as guides through the darkness.

He soon came upon one of the many sides of said chasm and followed it endlessly looking for a way out.

Shinji continued his never ending journey until he was stunned and blinded by a shimmering light coming from his left. The light was so intense it lit up the entire chasm, it was massive. Shinji smiled as it appeared that his journey was finally over and began walking towards the light.

Shinji got closer to the light, it was blinding yet it inflicted peace and tranquility, somehow he felt his problems dissuading with each step he took. A faint cry was heard throughout the chasm, it was a woman's cry.

Shinji didn't make out who the woman was, but whoever she was it made him nauseous to hear her cries.

As Shinji looked away from the light to see where the sound was coming from, the chasm started morphing. The ground shook heavily as the walls that encrusted the chasm began to crush each other and were forced to make what seemed like a narrow cave with two paths to follow.

Shinji looked to his left where the shimmering light was and saw the peace and tranquility he'd always wanted, behind the light he saw something that intrigued him, it was a young woman, and she looked similar to Rei however the only real difference he could spot was the color of her hair.

The woman was holding a small boy in her arms, it would appear it was her son, soon afterwards a figure started approaching the woman, it was Gendo. The approaching man looked at the woman with passionate eyes, eyes Shinji had never seen before, and he proceeded to kiss her. Their lips met in passion as their as both their tongues battled over dominance.

'What? Gendo? Is that… Is that my mom?!' Shinji thought as he gazed at them.

The three of them were all smiling and they looked like a happy family, however that soon came to a halt. The woman kissed her child on the forehead one more time and handed him to Gendo.

"Take care of Shinji" she said to him as she let go of him.

Gendo's smile had dissuaded and the cold relentless eyes Shinji knew were back. The moment he had the boy in his arms he started vanish into thin air. As he dispersed the woman let out some tears and looked at Shinji.

"My son" she whispered.

"Mo.. Mom?" replied Shinji as his eyes leaked tears.

Shinji didn't question where he was, what he had seen, or why it was happening, all that mattered was that he would get to see his beloved mother again.

Shinji wiped the tears and made his way towards her. He took three steps forward and heard the faint cries again, similar if not identical to the ones he had heard earlier.

Shinji stopped as he looked to the other end of the newly formed cave. It was dark, it frightened him, but there was a faint light, it was similar to the one he had seen in the other end. The light was emerging from the silhouette of a girl crying, the light was more intense in her abdominal area.

Suddenly the crying stopped, the girl looked at him, a smile forming on her lips. It was Asuka.

_**The next morning**_

Shinji woke up covered in sweat, it had been another dream. He'd been having strange dreams for a few days now and they usually involved Asuka, however he didn't know what to make of them, so he just gave them no thought.

As his eyes adjusted to the morning light, Shinji looked straight at the ceiling, even though it was the same pattern around the whole house, he could still tell his and Asuka's apart.

Bored of staring, he tried to sit up but found it effortless as he realized that he couldn't move his right arm or legs, curious to see the cause he glanced down and found a red headed girl sleeping happily on top of him.

The girl's head was on his chest and she was using both her arms as pillows and anchors to keep him from moving, not only that but her right leg extended across to keep his legs tied down as well. Shinji had never had a girl sleep on him like this, but he liked the feeling, and he enjoyed it even more since it was Asuka.

Shinji looked at her chiseled face and caressed it, she was truly beautiful. Moving the end of his fingers through her hair he started to delve in thought.

Shinji was glad she had no nightmares and had snuggled with him, but he was also worried about what her reaction would be when she woke up, he didn't want her to misinterpret the situation.

For a moment Shinji thought about sneaking off, but his plan was foiled the second he made a slight movement and Asuka involuntarily grabbed onto him tighter, so Shinji having no other choice was forced to wait it out.

He tried falling back asleep but was unsuccessful, his body had simply slept too much already, it was weary of resting. Shinji didn't mind it though, he just kept caressing Asuka without hesitation.

As time elapsed more sunlight creased its way into the room showing the messy wasteland it truly was. Shinji looked around shocked as he asked himself how it was possible for Asuka to live under in these conditions.

'Hasn't she ever heard of cleaning?' he pondered.

'If she let me, I cou-' Shinji's thoughts were broken up by a yawn coming from the red head.

Asuka's eyes meekly opened and looked around, everything was fuzzy. Last night had felt strange, she hadn't slept that well since, well… since ever. Hesitant to get up she closed her eyes and tried to fall back asleep.

Shinji stayed silent as anxiety ran through his whole body. He had begun to worry as the girl moved around on top of him but luckily she didn't become conscious of his presence.

Asuka noticed her bed felt different, it was softer, and over all more comfy. She squirmed around a bit to get into a better position and while in due process she heard a moan coming from beneath her, however she didn't pay too much attention to it and continued trying to sleep.

Shinji had felt uneasy again, Asuka's squirming was making him feel strange, he was experiencing the same heat from yesterday as she made friction with him. Every time she moved, he felt an extraordinary kind of pleasure he had previously never felt from anyone other than himself, he couldn't help but let out a dim moan as she finally settled.

'My bed just moaned' she thought as loach consumed her and focused back on sleeping.

'Wait a minute… My bed just moaned!' she finally processed after a few seconds.

She opened her eyes with haste and sat up quickly to find a blushing Shinji underneath her.

Asuka noticed she had been rubbing against his groin and her cheeks turned light pink momentarily. Though she would never admit it to him or anyone else, surpassing her disgust was a feeling of flattery at seeing Shinji moan in pleasure because of her, it somewhat boosted her ego.

'What's the **baka** doing in my room? And why am I on top of him?! ' she questioned herself.

Asuka stared at the boy confused, she wanted to beat him senseless, she was sure that there was some tainted meaning behind the situation she was in, but still, she also wanted to kiss him relentlessly.

The boy looked recovered from his illness, she was pleased to see that. There were a wide variety of emotions coursing through her, and the way she was sitting on him wasn't helping.

Asuka felt warm and moist between her thighs, and every time she moved the slightest she couldn't help but shudder a little. Why was he making her experience this? And why did it feel so pleasant?

Shinji was breathing slowly and trying to think of anything but Asuka, having her on top of him made him feel good, she felt really warm, every time she moved the least, he felt that pleasure again.

Both of them stared at each other as the room became hotter, and the air became saturated as their inhalations deepened.

Asuka couldn't think straight, to her that fact that she was enjoying this was appalling! She had to put a stop to this.

"Wha… What are you doing in my bed you perverted freak!" she yelled.

The blushing boy found it hard to communicate properly as the red head pinned down his arms.

"Asuka!… It's not… errr… It's not what you think" he barely managed to say.

She raised one arm and prepared her palm for a slap across his face. Shinji saw this and tried effortlessly to convince her other wise.

"Asuka wait! I can explain-" started Shinji as he felt the first of many slaps sting his cheek.

"Owww!" he groaned as he held his cheek "don't hit me! I'm tryi-" the red head slapped him again.

"Do you resolve everything with violence?!" Shinji asked furiously as he held his most recently impacted cheek.

"Oh I'm so sorry. I guess I should just lie here and let you rape me?! **Drecksau**!" she said indignantly as she slapped him again.

'I'm so sorry Shinji' she said mentality as she slapped him once more, it wasn't as hard as the others, but the sound resonated in the room.

Hearing the echo of the now distant slap made Asuka feel sick with herself, something in her had changed in the last few days. She wasn't enjoying hurting him like she did before, she felt revolted by her actions.

The boy and her had recently been getting closer, Asuka had actually started to care about him, something she really regretted but couldn't help.

Asuka's eyes glossed as fluid accumulated, tears were forming in their corners ready to be released.

Shinji felt the sting of the slap, but that wasn't what hurt him the most. From the corner of her left eye a tear had slid down her cheek. It saddened him, this wasn't at all what he wanted, he would've preferred the brutal beat down than see her shed a single tear.

'He's not doing anything! Why is he just looking at me!?' she asked frantically in her mind.

'I can't let him get through!' she screamed internally.

Asuka raised her hand to slap him again but stopped as the boy said something.

"I'm sorry Asuka, just… just please don't cry" he said regretfully as his eyes became watery.

With that avowal he had disarmed her, she didn't know what to do, it was like he knew exactly what to say to get into her head and make her feel confused all over again.

Asuka lowered her arm and brought both hands to her face, Shinji could see more tears sliding down her cheeks, but she did her best to conceal the matter.

Shinji didn't mind the physical abuse he had received but he was agonizing seeing her in distress. He sat up and embraced her in a hug but it was of no use, she kept hiding behind her hands.

"Asuka, I don't like seeing you like this" he said lowly, a few tears making their way down his cheeks.

Shinji slowly tried to remove her hands from her face to talk to her but an almost immediate rejection came as she pushed him back.

"Yeah right! Ohh! Poor miserable Asuka, I'm going to comfort her so she likes me" she ridiculed him as she wiped her tears.

"It's not like that at all Asuka" he said quietly.

"I care about you. Let me help yo-" the room became quiet as the sound of the slap overtook it.

Shinji didn't say anything, he was far too stunned. The slap had transcended physical pain, it penetrated him on an emotional level, he had exposed himself when he reached out to her and she had rejected him. Shinji's gaze was now empty, he felt lost, he didn't understand.

Did he miss something? Did he read the signs all wrong? Had he screwed up? All these questions running through his mind

Shinji had gotten rejected a second time by the same person and although she was right on top of him, he felt that loneliness from before all over again.

"Please get off me" he asked her trying to keep his voice from cracking.

Asuka didn't budge, she stayed on top of his lap staring at him unresponsive. Shinji was holding his tears back, but as time progressed he felt more and more build up and it was getting harder to contain them.

Shinji wasn't sure how much more he could take from her, he had known from the start this would cause him pain, but he didn't think it would feel this horrendous. Shinji felt betrayed, he felt he had been deceived by the person he had started to trust, but most of all he felt angry he should've known better than to trust someone.

Shinji's mind was in limbo, all he knew was that he had to leave that place behind, he had to escape that nightmare he was living.

Shinji pushed her off, got up and started heading towards the door, his back now being turned towards Asuka he set his tears loose. He concealed it pretty well but the occasional sniff was heard.

She was still in catatonic state as she looked at his figure walking away, inside her mind Asuka was engaged in a battle with herself.

'No don't leave me!' she begged him mentally.

'It's just better this way' a voice inside her replied.

'No it's not! I need him! I… I think I like him!' she shouted.

'You've become weak! This is why mom didn't love you! And you pick him of all people?! You disgust me!' the voice mocked.

'I'm not weak!' she hoarse.

'Are you that desperate for attention that you turn to him!?' a different voice confronted.

'Shut up!' she yelled.

'You need to focus on being a pilot! Not messing around with some idiot!'

'Bu… But he cares for me' she said.

'No he doesn't! No one cares about you but me!' the voice commented.

'And who are you?' she asked curiously.

'I am you, I am the great Asuka Langley Sohryu, remember me?' the voice asked.

'Yes' she replied.

'Of course you do, you're a shadow of what I once was!' the voice lectured her.

'It's… It's true, I've become weak' she finally thought in defeat.

'But I won't be weak anymore… I'll do what I have to' she finished.

'Good! Do it for both our sakes' the voice finished.

Asuka hesitated as she noticed him trying to hide the fact he was crying. She felt hatred building up towards herself for what she was about to do, but for her it was the better of two evils, it was this or something far worse in the future.

"Hey! Come back here **scheisskopf**!" Asuka yelled at him through anger as she crawled towards him and pulled one of his legs making him trip.

"Oww! Let me go!" he demanded as he struggled with the red head's hand on his leg.

Asuka held onto him tightly, she knew what she had to do. 'I'm so sorry Shinji! It's better for the both of us like this' she thought as she looked at him.

Shinji stopped struggling and looked away from her penetrating gaze, he didn't want her to see him crying. The boy wiped his face and began to restrain the tears again as he looked back at her.

Without wasting any time Asuka let go of his leg and crawled on top of him before he could even react. Her head moved closer as she whispered something in his ear.

"I… I hate you. There is no way…" she hesitated "There is no way a girl like me Woul… Would ever end up with someone like you" she said blankly while feeling a strange pain inside her.

Shinji had just been decimated, it's amazing what a few words can do to a man. His neck had tightened and he was finding it hard to breathe as he reviewed the words over and over in his mind.

'Why did she have to say that?!' he questioned his mind.

'Wasn't it enough she rejected me earlier?!' he asked grudgingly.

'Why!?' he thought as his frustration was building up.

'Why would you fucking say that to me?!' hate arising from the frustration.

'WHY!?' yelled a furious Shinji in his mind.

'I fucking hate YOU!' Shinji thought as he looked at her once more disgusted by her behavior.

He couldn't hold back anymore and let his tears out. She had crossed the line and he was starting to hate her sight, he was starting to hate her.

"Fine" he said in a quiet but irate manner as he shoved her off and got up.

Shinji walked towards the door and wiped his tears on the way, upon reaching it he then turned around and gave the red head a smirk.

"If you truly feel that way, I won't bother you anymore" he said smoothly and soon afterwards walked out the room.

As he walked out the room he slid the door shut, immediately afterwards he heard her discharge phrases in German he could only guess were insults aimed at him.

Shinji felt worse than how he did a few nights ago when Asuka had gone on a date with one of Hikari's friends. At least back then she hadn't crushed his feelings entirely, now the words she had said still haunted his thoughts and he felt a pit in the bottom of his stomach every time he recalled them.

Shinji stood behind her door for a couple of minutes thinking while some tears managed to find their way down his cheek, he didn't fully understand how such a lovely morning had turned out so destructive towards him. He didn't want to be around her, not anymore, he needed to leave.

Shinji walked into his room, stripped off the clothes he had on, got a towel and then headed into the bathroom. As he closed the door behind him he got a glimpse of himself on the mirror, both his cheeks had the imprints of hands on them and his left cheek also had a small cut, but it was nothing serious, at least compared to the emotional damage he had sustained.

After cleansing the wound, he took a cold shower. He got Goosebumps as the first drops of cold water made contact with his skin. It felt as if he had been dreaming the whole fight and the cold water was waking him up.

He stood inactive for a few minutes, letting the cold water coat him as his mind raced. He felt stupid, Asuka had been unapologetic with her words, and he still couldn't get her out of his mind. Despite her crushing his feelings, he cared for her but that didn't mean he was going to allow her hurt him any longer, the best thing he could do, was forget about her.

Shinji needed to be distracted to prevent further thinking of said topic. He proceeded to close the faucet, dry up and exit the bathroom.

When he stepped in the hallway he looked over at Asuka's room, it seemed every time they fought the hallway grew in length creating a void between them, a void Shinji had tried to close the very same morning but failed miserably.

After a moment, Shinji looked away from her room went straight into his to get dressed. Soon after he finished changing he saw the shirt and jean he'd wore when he first kissed Asuka. The sight angered him as mixed emotions started flowing through him again, not being able to stand it any longer he closed the closet, grabbed his SDAT, his wallet, his cell phone and headed out his room.

Shinji walked over to the kitchen to prepare breakfast and noticed a small note on the counter from Misato.

_Sorry guys had to leave early in the morning to finish some paperwork, I'll see you later. Don't do anything naughty!_

'Never going to happen, don't worry' he thought as he read the last part.

He shrugged at the note and left it on the counter before preparing a quick meal for himself and pen-pen. When finished he sat down by the kitchen table to eat, however his appetite had shrunk and he found himself staring at the food.

Shinji couldn't explain the sudden loss of appetite, this had never happened to him, but to be fair, he'd also never experienced a heart break either.

Shinji picked up his breakfast and placed it in the microwave oven, he also left a note on the kitchen table for Asuka.

_Asuka breakfast is in the microwave oven_

'No point in throwing out perfectly good food' he thought.

Shinji finished tidying up the kitchen and headed out, he stopped by the hallway to glance at Asuka's room one more time, there was no sound emanating from there.

'One day I'll be on the other end of the spear' he thought as he continued walking towards the front door.

Shinji left the apartment and headed of into the city, the streets were packed, he saw a lot of teens his age, even some from his school.

Shinji had been walking for around thirty minutes when he heard his phone ring. He pulled the device out his pocket and answered.

"Hello?" Shinji answered.

"Hey Shinji, what's up? Didn't see you at school yesterday, everything ok?" asked a voice he immediately recognized as Touji's.

"Yeah I was feeling a bit sick…" Shinji confessed.

"Oh I see, well are you doing something today?" his friend asked.

Shinji didn't know what to respond, he wasn't particularly enjoying walking around aimlessly, much less alone, but he wasn't sure he wanted his friends to see him in the state he was.

"Well I'm not sure, it's… complicated" Shinji responded.

"Listen Shinji there is a girl that's been asking about you, she's from 2-B, rumor is she likes you! Shinji you sly dog!" his friend said teasingly.

Shinji blushed at the thought, he wondered who it was.

"Oh… amm… well I… I don't know… I didn't think anyone liked me" Shinji said timidly.

"Nonsense! Listen she's going to be in the theaters by the mall today with some friends, we should go" his friend said trying to convince him.

"Errm… Listen… I do-" he mumbled.

"Is the Eva unit-01 pilot really chickening out?" Touji asked mockingly.

"What! No way!" he shouted.

"Really? Because that's what it seemed like for a second" he taunted.

"Fine I'll go…" Shinji said reluctantly.

"Great! We are all here now so hurry up!" Touji said joyfully.

"Wait what? You're already the-" Touji had hung up.

Shinji stayed motionless trying to recap what he had just gotten himself into, he was intrigued about the girl but why would she like him? And why was Touji already there? He figured it was some sort of prank, but anything was better than walking around depressed all day.

After a few seconds he shrugged and headed towards the mall.

_**Back at the apartment**_

Asuka had started pouring tears the minute she heard the front door close, she felt horrible about what she had said to Shinji, but she had convinced herself it was her only choice.

It took her a few minutes to stop sobbing, she didn't want to feel like this, but she knew it was temporary. Her idea was that if she pretended she didn't care in time she would indeed, not care, and thus the great Asuka Langley Sohryu would return as she originally was.

Not wasting anymore time sulking Asuka got on her feet and made her way to the bathroom. As she walked inside she noticed the garbage can filled with tissues covered in stains of blood.

'What a weakling' she thought and chuckled.

"Well, it only serves that perverted freak right. Hmpft!" she said out loud as she slid the door shut and undressed.

She stepped in the shower and turned the knob, suddenly a loud shriek was heard throughout the apartment building. Asuka's heart beat had increased as she cowered in a corner of the shower. The water was freezing cold.

"Shinji you IDIOT!" she screamed at the top of her lungs as she trembled.

Asuka stood idle in the corner trying to muster enough courage to jump in, she hated cold water, and her guess was that this had something to do with Shinji's revenge for breaking his heart.

Finally after a few minutes of internal debate, she felt ready to jump into the cold water. Another loud shriek was heard through the apartment.

A few minutes passed and Asuka didn't mind the cold water anymore, at first it had felt like needles pelting her skin, but now, it felt refreshing, like she was washing down her problems with the frosty water.

After a few minutes she turned the knob to close the faucet and stood there dripping wet thinking about him. She felt confused again, earlier she had convinced herself she was doing the right thing, now she wasn't so sure she had.

"Of course I did the right thing… I… I'm the great Asuka Langley Sohryu… I don't need him" she whispered doubtingly.

Asuka then looked at the basket with tissues covered in blood. She felt a little remorse for slapping so hard and lowered her head.

'I… I did what I had to do' her mind stated trying to comfort her.

Asuka now feeling reassured of her actions stopped worrying and dried herself up before exiting the bathroom. As she walked over to her room she snuck a peek at his and remembered how she had taken care of him the day before.

Asuka began to feel strange again and decided to look away, however it was far too late, she had already recalled how she felt when she had been so close to him, that warmth she felt, how her heart had started beating faster and how his lips had seem so tempting.

Asuka was feeling warm again, she clenched both legs as heat emanated from her private region.

'No! Stop it! He's a nobody!' she screamed in the inners of her head as she rejected everything she feeling.

Asuka needed to leave the house immediately, everywhere she looked there was something that reminded her of him. She quickly got dressed and called Hikari.

The phone rang several seconds before someone answered.

"Hikari?" said Asuka questioningly.

"Hey Asuka!" her friend answered happily as it was a rare thing for Asuka to call her.

"Hey Hikari" Asuka replied.

There was an awkward silence between the two.

"So…" Hikari started "can I help you with something Asuka?".

"Err… Yeah… Want to go to the mall or something?" she asked her friend.

"Sure! That'd be great" her friend said getting excited.

Asuka smiled as she heard her friend getting excited about going to the mall.

"Well how about we meet up in an hour?" Asuka said in friendlier voice.

"Alright, but where do you want to meet up?" her friend asked curiously.

"Hmmm… Let's meet by main fountain in centre of the mall" Asuka finished.

"Okay see you then Asuka!" Hikari said as she hung up.

Asuka put her phone down and heard a grumble from her stomach.

'**Scheisse** I'm starving' she thought as she headed towards the kitchen.

Asuka noticed something on the kitchen table as she entered the kitchen, it was a note.

_Asuka breakfast is in the microwave oven_

'Well at least he isn't completely useless' Asuka thought and smiled.

She headed to the microwave oven to get her breakfast and saw another note by the counter.

'What is this? Leave a note day… Geez' she thought frustrated as she read it.

_Sorry guys had to leave early in the morning to finish some paperwork, I'll see you later. Don't do anything naughty!_

The idea resonated in her mind and she started to feel hot again, in her mind there were all these images of him and her, doing things, things they shouldn't do.

"Stop it! You don't like him! He's a dork and a wimp!" she reminded herself by yelling loudly.

That being finished she took her breakfast out and ate. The food wasn't bad, but it definitely didn't live up to the standards Shinji had, still the red head ate it in less than a minute.

'Thank's for the **Scheisse** food Shinji…' she thought.

She left the plate in the sink and headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth, it took her about five minutes to finish readying up. Before leaving she took some money from Shinji's stash and said goodbye to pen-pen who was snoring on the sofa.

The Katsuragi residence was now void of all humans.

_**Meanwhile at the Tokyo-3 mall movie theaters **_

Shinji had been reluctant to come at first, a lot had happened that morning and he felt awful, however he saw this as a means to get his mind of the red head. She had been pretty clear there was no scenario where she and Shinji could be together and the more he thought about it, the more he was beginning to believe her.

It took him several minutes to get from the entrance of the mall to the movie theaters, but once he got there he couldn't find his friend Touji. As he roamed around the area looking for his friend Shinji heard someone call his name.

"Shinji over here!" shouted a girl.

Shinji quickly turned around and saw a girl by the entrance to the movie theaters. He swore he had seen her somewhere before, but wasn't sure where.

The girl's light green eyes glistened, and her bangs which were combed in order to partially conceal one eye swayed left and right as she drew near him.

Shinji found this girl to be extremely attractive, he found it hard to believe that he couldn't remember someone like her, it just didn't make any sense. The girl's gaze was firm and piercing, she didn't take her eyes off him for a second as she closed the remaining distance between them.

When she was finally close enough to him she greeted him, after all this whole time they had been staring at each other and not said a word.

"Hello Shinji Ikari, I've been dying to meet you" she said with a smile as Shinji blushed at her comment.

"Me?" He asked surprised.

"Yeah silly!" she responded and giggled "You're Tokyo-3's hero, everyone wants to meet you" she refined.

"Oh… Umm… Thank you" he said shyly.

"No, thank you Shinji, for doing what you do" she said placing her hand on his shoulder.

Shinji felt himself blush again "have… Have we met before?" he asked her trying no to sound rude.

"Oh forgive me! I'm Asami, I go to school with you and it was me that told Touji to invite you" she replied and giggled once more as she took her hand off him.

"Yeah, I knew I had seen you somewhere before" he confessed now feeling more comfortable to talk.

"I'm in 2-B, I see you most times during lunch break. You're always with that other pilot, the one with red hair" she added.

Shinji looked down as he remembered what she had told him that morning.

'I'll never be good enough for her, I just need to move on' he thought.

Asami had noticed his attitude changed when she mentioned Asuka but didn't say anything.

"So… do you know where Touji is?" Shinji said changing subjects.

"Yeah him and the rest entered to see a movie already" she replied ominously.

"Oh… How come you're still here?" Shinji asked curious to know.

"You ask silly things, I was waiting for you Shinji" Asami said and her cheeks turned pinkish.

Shinji found it difficult to reply, and he was pretty sure his cheeks were rose colored too but finally after a few seconds of timid stares and blushed cheeks Shinji broke the silence.

"Well, I'm here now" he said smiling.

"You sure are! Come on let's go inside!" Asami said eagerly as she grabbed his hand and led him inside the theater.

As they approached the ticket line, Shinji noticed the movies on display. There wasn't particularly anything that interested him, so he gave Asami the pick.

"So what do you have in mind?" Shinji asked the beautiful brunette next to him.

"Well… I like the horror film about the haunted mirror, it seems intriguing" she responded sincerely.

"Ok let's watch that one then" Shinji replied smiling.

It took them about five minutes to get their tickets and another ten to get some refreshments, Shinji having not eaten breakfast that morning ate most of his snacks as they walked to their screening room.

Upon entering their screening room they noticed that they were the only ones there, this made Shinji feel a little uncomfortable but he didn't say anything. They sat down on their designated seats as a message popped on the screen.

_The movie will begin momentarily, please turn off all your electronic gadgets and enjoy the film_

Doing as the message said both teens turned of their phones and waited quietly until Asami spoke out.

"It's cold in here Shinji" she said as she crossed both arms over her chest.

"Oh… I'm sorry. What can I do?" Shinji asked innocently.

"Here just… let me…" Asami said as she removed the armrest between their seats and cuddled up to him.

"Hey… Wha-" Shinji started saying before Asami cut him off.

"There we go, I'm not cold anymore" Asami said smiling at the young boy whose cheeks resembled tomatoes.

The brunette had placed one hand over his chest and rested her head against his shoulder.

"I don't think tha-" Shinji was beginning to say before the movie began.

"Shh Shinji, no talking during the movie" Asami said admonishing him before letting out a few giggles.

Shinji gulped and tried to concentrate on the movie, but something about her reminded him of Asuka, and he liked that.

_**Some time later in another part of the Tokyo-3 mall**_

Asuka had met up with Hikari by the fountain and they were now browsing the different shops the mall had to offer, to Asuka it was like Christmas because with Shinji's stash she was happily buying everything she desired.

As they left the fourth shop they had visited that day Asuka's stomach growled hungrily, Hikari noticed and suggested they'd better eat lunch before continuing their shopping spree, Asuka agreed and they headed to the food court, after all it was already one in the afternoon.

Once arrived at their destination they discussed what to eat and settled on European, the only problem was that there few European restaurants in the mall, and the lines were pretty extensive.

After standing in line for what seemed like an eternity they both ordered their meals and sat down by a nearby table.

"Tokyo-3 needs more European restaurants" sighed Asuka as she rested her legs on an empty chair next to her.

"Yeah… So Asuka did you find him?" Hikari asked changing the subject.

"Find who?" questioned Asuka raising an eyebrow at Hikari.

"Shinji, you were looking for him yesterday remember?" Hikari said trying to remind her.

"Uggh! Can we just not talk about that **baka**" Asuka requested as her face showed disgust for the topic.

"What happened?" Hikari asked worriedly.

"Shinji was being stupid again, that's what happened" Asuka said frowning.

"Hey…" said Hikari as she took Asuka's right hand "we're friends, you can talk to me about these things" she finished and smiled at Asuka.

Asuka stayed quiet and looked away, she had completely forgotten about him until now. She was feeling that pain again, the one from this morning. If she kept thinking about him, she would break down and cry, she had to change the subject.

"I'll tell you but first you have to tell me about you and Touji" Asuka teased and smirked.

"What!?" Hikari answered "Asuka listen the-" she was cut off by Asuka.

"Come on everyone knows you two have a thing" she said teasing her more.

"No! it's not like that.. I just make him his lunch" said Hikari who seemed upset now.

Asuka noticing her friend's reaction tried to cheer her up.

"You know he likes you right?" Asuka asked her friend smiling.

"Do.. Do you really think so?" Hikari asked hopeful the answer would be yes.

"No.. I know so, everyone knows Hikari. Me personally I don't see what you see in him" Asuka confessed.

"Well, it's hard to explain.." Hikari replied as she scratched her head trying to figure out how she could explain.

"Tell me about i-" Asuka covered her mouth before she could say anymore.

At this Hikari stopped scratching her head and had a scheming look in her eyes.

"What's the matter Asuka? Having the same problem with Shinji?" Her friend teased as her and laughed.

"Shut up! I don't like that twerp!" Asuka hoarse at her friend who just kept laughing.

"I never said you liked him" Hikari said mocking her voice.

"I don-" Asuka stopped as she saw the very same person of the topic walking around with another girl.

Hikari noticed her friend stare deeply at something behind her, she turned around and saw Shinji holding hands with a girl she didn't recognize, they were waiting in line to order some food at a nearby restaurant.

_**A few minutes earlier in the Tokyo-3 movie theater**_

Shinji and Asami had stepped out the screening room after the movie was over, to his surprise he had really enjoyed it, but he thought it shouldn't have been classified as a horror film, more like a psychological thriller.

Even thought she had cuddled up to him in the seat, nothing else had really happened, they watched the movie silently and discussed the rather strange ending afterwards.

Shinji didn't understand, he had that beautiful girl so close to him, yet he hadn't experienced the same things as when it had been Asuka, but when he thought of Asami as Asuka, everything changed, he experienced the warmth, and his heart beat faster all the strange sensations and feelings were back. Asami of course had noticed this, and asked him if he was ok, to which he responded by blaming the movie saying it had scared him. She giggled at his confession and then continued cuddling with him.

As they stepped outside the cinema Shinji turned on his phone and called Touji. The phone rang several seconds before someone finally answered.

"Hello" answered his friend

"Hey it's Shinji" Shinji replied.

"Oh hey Shin-man! Soooo? How was the date?" Touji asked teasingly.

Shinji looked over at Asami, blushed and then looked elsewhere.

"Shut up Touji! Where are you?" Shinji asked irritated.

"Calm down Shin-man, we're at the arcade, we've been here a while actually…" Touji responded.

"Ok well, we're going to eat something and we'll see you there" Shinji said.

"Oh? Another date is i-" Touji's phrase cut off by the sound of Shinji hanging up.

Shinji hung up and then turned to Asami.

"They're at the arcade, if you want we can go eat first before joining them" Shinji offered.

"Ok, lets go" She said as she grabbed Shinji's hand and led him to the food court.

It took them a few minutes to make it to the food court and once there they saw how cramped it was, most of the restaurants had long lines behind the register, but the longest lines could be seen in the European joints.

They both looked around wondering where to buy.

"What are you hungry for Asami?" Shinji asked.

"I'm really not sure, whatever will suffice" Asami said smiling.

"Well then let's just go to the place with the shortest line" Shinji suggested.

"Hmmm… they all seem the same to me" Asami noted.

"No wait! Look there!" Shinji said pointing to a restaurant with an eight person line.

"Come on let's hurry!" Asami said as she began running and tugging Shinji behind her.

Shinji almost fell at her first tug but managed to keep up until they reached the end of the line. He was surprised there weren't more people making the line, it was definitely the shortest one in the food court.

'I hope the food here is good' Shinji said mentally.

As they got nearer to the register Shinji noticed Asami relatively quiet.

"Are you ok Asami?" Shinji asked the brunette next to him.

"Well.. I.. I just… I want to ask you something Shinji" she said timidly as he looked into his eyes.

"Go ahead Asami, I'll do my best to answer it" he smiled as he said this.

"Is there something between you and Asuka?" Asami asked troubled.

Shinji's smile was gone, he wasn't sure how to respond even though Asuka had given him the answer to that question the very same morning.

Shinji's lips trembled as he said "no there isn't".

"Ok, because there is something I want to give you Shinji" Asami said cheerfully.

Shinji looked up to meet her gaze, they were both standing really close to each other. He didn't understand why he was feeling this pleasant to be around a girl he'd just met a few hours ago, but he didn't mind it either.

"What is- hmmhmm" Shinji's sentence ended in muffled words as he Asami kissed him.

In a matter of seconds it went from a superficial kiss to a deep kiss, both explored each other's mouth thoroughly as their tongues rubbed against each other and swapped saliva, muffled moans could be heard from each of them as they continued.

From a distance the two girls on a shopping spree saw the exchange of saliva, Asuka didn't say a word, she just kept looking, it seemed the kiss was becoming more passionate as time progressed.

Asuka saw when Shinji placed both hands on the girls face and took charge of the kiss, she could see they were both enjoying it. Her eyes became watery and a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Not being able to handle watching anymore Asuka stood up wobbly, her hands trembled as she picked up her shopping bags and made the occasional sniff as she began to walk away.

"Asuka wait!" Hikari said standing up and reaching for her.

Hikari pulled Asuka into a comforting hug and Asuka embraced it. She stood there, her head buried in her friend's shoulder as her feelings resurfaced once more. She had lied to herself, all this time, she really did care for him, and now it was too late.

Her sobs died down, Asuka was enraged, and she felt anger coursing through her body.

"Don't look anymore Asuka" Hikari warned her.

She disobeyed and looked once more, the kiss had already been broken off and Shinji was holding her hand while they waited in line.

"It's not like I care!" she shouted at her friend while the last of tears slid down her cheeks.

"Asuka calm down! Please!" Hikari begged her.

"I.. I don't care about him" she yelled again in tears as she broke off her friend's embrace.

"Asuka here" Hikari said wiping her friend's tears "let's just go somewhere else" she proposed as she walked away with a broken down Asuka.

Back at the line, Asami and Shinji were getting ready to finally order their food. Neither of them had noticed the spectacle produced by the red head on the other side of the food court.

Shinji was confused, it didn't occur to him why on earth Asami would give him THAT as a gift, it confused him even more the fact she seemed so calm about it.

"Asami?" Shinji said quietly.

The brunette turned her head to look at him directly in the eyes.

"What is it Shinji?" she asked giggling.

"Umm.. Wha.. What was that all about?" he asked her nervously.

"Shinji are you really that silly? Do you honestly not know?" Asami said sounding sincere.

"Well.. I.. uh… Should I know?" he asked confused.

"Shinji I.." Asami took a deep breath "I like you" she confessed blushing.

Shinji felt the heat in cheeks, but he wasn't sure what to say, he felt attracted to Asami and he liked her personality or at least what he'd seen up to now, but Asuka was still on his mind.

_There's no way a girl like me could ever end up with someone like you_

Shinji was determined to forget her, and he had to admit he'd felt good being with Asami, he had to admit he was beginning to like her.

"Asami.. I.. I.. think I like you too" Shinji admitted as his cheeks blushed and she pulled him in for another kiss this one more passionate than the previous.

Author's notes: Ok, this was really long chapter, it was originally around 40 pages in MS Word so I decided to cut it and make chapter 4 a direct continuation including some parts from the final pages of chapter 3.

On that note, you might get a new chapter every two weeks, my semester just started and it's time to put my nerdy pants on. Thanks to those who offered to read my drafts, I will include your Nick names or names if you wish in the next one.

About this chapter: From Asuka's POV. Asuka has a persona, it's the one we are first introduced in the aircraft carrier, we'll call it "The Great Asuka Langley Sohryu". Why do we call it persona? Because it's not the real Asuka, the real Asuka is little girl that has very complex family issues, similar to the ones Shinji has.

What happens in this chapter? There seems to be indication that Asuka does like Shinji, not only in this story but in the show as well. In this story what prevents the two from really bonding is always her persona. Shinji had been reaching out to her, and he'd gotten rejected twice now.

Asuka's persona is ultimately what keeps the two from being shipped right here, good thing too because then it'd be boring. Remember we have to remove Asuka's persona and get rid of Shinji's… well there is a lot to work on. I really only saw two ways of making that persona crumble, putting Shinji in a life threatening situation or making her realize what it would be if Shinji stopped paying her attention. In both cases the term "Never know what you have until you loose it" comes to play.

Asami, I know most of you are probably wondering why she appeared so fast, and who the hell she is or why in the fuck she kissed him like that but it's explained in the next chapter which has some parts the original chapter 3.

I appreciate any review and thank you all for reading, this has been a really fun hobby.

Yours truly,

JCM.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 Regret & Resentment

It was late at night when Asuka decided to head back home, the day had passed by in slow agony as she'd spent the majority of the afternoon talking with Hikari. It wasn't that her friend was boring or caused her unease, Asuka's mind was simply focused elsewhere, on something that for reasons she still neglected caused her a scolding pain in her chest.

Asuka understood her friend was worried about her, Hikari had become her first real intimate friend, but in all honesty Asuka preferred the solitude. It's not like she wasn't used to dealing with her problems unaided anyways, it had always been that way, it's what made her strong, what made her who she was.

She'd managed to get this far alone and it surely wasn't because of luck, it was because of her audacity, her tenacity, her willpower, pride and maturity. Still, at the same time these gifts and attributes were also heavy burdens to carry, not being able to open up to others completely for the sense of autonomy the path was a lonesome one, and she'd never minded that, not until now anyways.

And so it was that despite her actual feelings, there was simply no way she could let Hikari see her miserable, it wasn't an option, she had to be strong, she always had been and there was no reason to stop now, therefore she had avoided any sulking or looks of gloominess that would give off remnants of her present state throughout the whole afternoon.

Of course Hikari had intended various times on talking to her about what had occurred near midday, the incident with Shinji and the unknown girl, but Asuka just evaded the topic immediately and changed subjects, usually to ones regarding Hikari and Touji.

It was a short time after that Hikari deemed it hopeless to get her to open up, she could see the pain in her friend's eyes even if she pretended to be unaffected. She understood Asuka's reasons, she tried effortlessly to occult any feelings of attraction towards the boy by mistreating him, but regardless of this hints of their duality were always easy to spot, especially lately.

Asuka walked over to the front door and said her goodbyes with a hug and smile, there was still a look of worry in Hikari's face as she escorted her friend to the end of the porch but before Asuka could reach it, Hikari placed one hand on her shoulder making her stop completely.

"Asuka.. You're my closest friend and I care about you.." Hikari said lowly and stopped, "You don't have to deprive yourself of feeling…" she finished as she gave her a light hug from behind and then returned into the comforts of her house.

Meanwhile, a tear slowly made its way down Asuka's cheek. The words stayed and resonated in her mind, words that should mean nothing to her and yet somehow, they did, and they resembled his words from the morning, but she knew better than to believe them, even if deep inside she desperately wanted to.

She leisurely walked away from her friend's house and as she journeyed out in the lit up streets of Tokyo-3, she took account of the night setting.

There was a pleasant cold breeze swooping the city and looking up at the firmament she could see the full moon and its aura of light spamming across the city's buildings leaving white reflections on the window panels, as she looked around even more into the dark blue canvas of the night sky she spotted a few blinking stars, she liked the setting, the night was truly beautiful and at the same time, lonely.

Asuka stood motionless admiring the view, she let out a sigh as she was reminded of the countless times Shinji would accompany her on the apartment's balcony to watch the sunset.

There was a time after their intensive sync training when they had managed to make a habit of it, both would sit on the balcony particularly close to one another watching the bright star sink under Tokyo-3's skyline, leaving streaks of light shimmering through the gaps in between the buildings.

One time she had cuddled up against him and placed her head on his shoulder as they both did their daily ritual on the balcony, she didn't know what had driven her to do it, it must've been another moment of weakness on her part.

Shinji had immediately tensed up and blushed as the red head proceeded to make herself comfortable next to him, she really hadn't expected less from him.

'Typical **baka**' she said to herself.

Asuka enjoyed making him nervous, it was fun to watch him begin to stutter and redden, and he looked somewhat cute when he became all timid, of course she'd never really tell him that.

He had merely begun to protest and squirm around trying to get away when Asuka interrupted his actions.

"Shinji.." she begun and raised her head to look up at his eyes "don't.. Okay?" she finished.

Shinji simply nodded in approval a bit baffled at the occurrence, it's true they had become friendlier towards each other after the training, and he couldn't say he didn't enjoy her closeness either, he'd seen a glimpse of an Asuka few even knew existed, the tender and caring one, one that he'd hoped to see more often.

The red head seeing his nod of approval and noticing he wasn't as tense as before gently rested her head back onto his shoulder and continued watching the sunset.

They sat in that position long after the sun had finally left any trace of its presence in the now obscure sky, both enjoying the view of their city, the moment and for a first time, each others intimacy.

They would've stayed cuddled up longer had Misato not snuck up to them and then nearly provoked each pilot a heart attack.

The purple haired woman simply grinned at the sight, she saw no harm in it, it somewhat pleased her to see them finally getting along, but she couldn't pass up this opportunity to tease them either.

She quietly snuck up behind the bench in the balcony with her arms folded and a menacing looking face.

"Ehermm!" she said through a fake cough making both pilots jump up off the bench.

"Misato!" they both turned around and said in unison surprised to see her.

"Oh! Am I interrupting something?" she asked teasingly making them both blush.

Both pilots gave each other a glance of embarrassment and turned to their guardian yelling "No!" in harmony yet again.

"Hey shut up!" they both yelled at each other.

Asuka simply gave him a death stare and Shinji quieted down, much to his relief Misato stepped in to tease them more.

"You guys aren't planning to do anything naughty, are you?" Misato asked smirking as Shinji and Asuka's cheeks turned a red shade to the question at hand.

"What!? What are you implying!?" the young fiery haired pilot interrogated indignantly almost immediately.

"Always on the defensive aren't we Asuka?" she asked the red head mischievously as her gaze focused on the blushing boy next to her.

"Shut up Misato! How can you say such things!?" Asuka yelled back.

"What do you think Shinji?" their guardian asked smirking.

Shinji's face was already flushed and as he gave Asuka another look he saw she was staring him down, fury in her eyes and hints of pink around her cheeks.

"Don't get the wrong idea Third!" she said smugly with her chin held high "as if there'd ever be anything between us!".

"I never said there would be!" he replied now his turn to be indignant.

"You don't have to say it! Your perverted face says it all!" Asuka shouted back at him as she placed both hands on her hips.

"That's because you're always teasing me on purpose!" he countered back at her.

"Hmmpf! It's not my fault I'm so attractive" she said conceitedly.

"Right…" the muttered and rolled his eyes.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?" Asuka asked a bit hurt he thought otherwise.

They boy simply gulped and desperately said "nothing! I said nothing Asuka!"

Asuka had given him another death stare and was about ready to physically harm him when Misato stepped in again.

"Geez, Touji's right, you do sound like a married couple" Misato teased once more making them both blush for a few seconds before lashing out at her and then each other.

A small smile formed on her lips as she snapped back from her memory, she missed watching the sunsets with him, they hadn't done so since a few weeks back and the way things were going they were probably not going to watch them together ever again.

Her shy smile was now gone and instead it had been replaced by a culpable frown and gaze.

'**Scheisse**! I.. I did what I had to.. Right?' she began to doubt before she continued walking.

Asuka was now longing to unbosom her feelings, she considered that perhaps she should've talked with Hikari, but it wasn't as simple as that, there were many implications, still she figured it wouldn't have been half as bad to talk to someone.

As much as she tried to convince herself and others she didn't care, it was now apparent to her that no matter how hard she tried to fool herself into thinking it, she did.

She'd never cared for the boy, not like this, whatever was happening to her was beyond her comprehension, after all, she was the one who'd rejected him. However what bothered her more was that he'd stated he cared for her earlier that day and only mere hours after rejection had his tongue in some whore's mouth, it enraged her to think that he'd so easily replaced her, Was it jealousy? Was it something else? Whatever the case he'd lied.

'**Fich dich** liar' she said mentally as another tear managed to escape her eye.

"He can have his whore, I never cared in the first place" Asuka whispered the lie hoping its fruition while wiping off the tear.

She continued walking at a slow rhythm, sometimes feeling the need to just drop down to let her emotions out, other times sadistic thoughts filled her mind on how she could make him pay and the whore suffer, but all in all, it was a long monotonous walk through the streets.

Asuka eventually came up to the Tokyo-3 central park, she liked taking brief walks through it every once in a while. It was always so quiet there and the sound of wind brushing through the tree's leaves and branches was soothing to the ears, not to mention how few people ever actually visited the park, it's just what she needed for dreadful days.

She paced slowly through the park enjoying the harmony, taking in the smell of fresh air as she tried to forget her troubles, part of her felt relaxed while another part, one she had drowned before but had now resurfaced, longed for the embrace of a dark haired boy with blue eyes.

Asuka's stroll was finally nearing the park's alternate entrance/exit when she noticed a couple sitting on a bench to the side of the main walkway.

The unknown couple was sharing what she considered to be the most ardent kiss she'd ever seen, both their eyes were closed while their hands ran freely through each other's body, slowly making the necessary friction in the right places to please each other and moan into each other's mouths.

An almost immediate thought of Shinji emerged in her mind, she shuddered as the image of him caressing her body passionately and meeting her lips while sharing his tongue with her became visible, she was feeling the same warm feeling from before, heat ran up her thighs as she became lost in her fantasy, however, it was shortly lived as another image entered her mind.

She was there all over again, sitting at the same table with her legs extended across to an empty chair, her mouth was slightly opened as she was suddenly dumbfounded in the midst of finishing a sentence.

Asuka slowly plunged into an abyss of sorrow as she helplessly witnessed Shinji kiss the girl fervently.

She was now fixated on the details of the event, from his hand moving from her waist up to the back of her neck to pull her head in closer to his, to him imposing dominance of the kiss on the girl and making her lean back as he held her tightly, second by second her heart was now sinking at the reminiscence.

'Why didn't he kiss me like that?' Asuka wondered as her distress continued to increment.

'Ughhh! I don't care!' she yelled mentally trying to make herself believe it.

Her emotions were ranging from sadness to pure hate, she hated being affected by it so much, she hated the fact that he'd kissed another girl, she hated herself for being weak, but most of all, under all that hate, she felt a deep misery consuming her, because she's the one that had rejected him.

"Idiots" Asuka muttered through gritted teeth as she returned from her memory and focused back on the couple, her built up hate now beginning to sprout.

"Hey morons! You're in a fucking public park! What the hell's the matter with you!" she yelled at the couple who immediately stopped any sort of physical interaction and looked at her direction stunned.

"Pathetic!" she yelled again as she turned around and kept walking leaving a very embarrassed couple murmuring behind.

She could hear the mumbling behind her die down as she distanced herself from the couple, she pitied them, how could one be so weak as to rely on another person and become emotionally dependent, the whole idea was bizarre and yet, a hint of envy was also present in her.

Asuka walked back home in silence, it took her about fifteen minutes to reach the apartment and once there she took the elevator up and made her way towards her front door.

Stillness beheld her as she got there, she was afraid to enter remembering the reason she'd left that morning.

After various hesitations, she entered the apartment, there was dead silence throughout it. Asuka checked every room making sure the apartment was truly void of her roommates and as she suspected there was nobody there but pen-pen.

"Hey pen-pen" she greeted and pet the bird who was sleeping on top of the kitchen table with a few empty beer cans around him.

"ZZzzzZZZZz" replied the passed out bird.

She smiled at the drunken bird and gave him another pet on the beak before walking over to her room. As she made her way to her room she stopped in front of Shinji's room, contradictory feelings overwhelming her, she wasn't sure of her actions anymore.

After a few seconds of deep thoughts Asuka made her way to her room and placed the shopping bags she'd been carrying all day beside her bed, her body longed for her bed's soft embrace as she undressed into her undergarments.

Finally to her body's relief she lay down on the soft cushion and looked directly at the ceiling.

Her bed wasn't as comfortable as the night before, she now felt that there was something missing and though she hated to admit it, it was him.

"What a long day" she said to herself.

From the very first minute she'd been conscious, she'd gone through an emotional journey and after the day was finally reaching its long awaited end, she had realized that Hikari had been right, bottling up feelings inside was an error.

The cutting pain she'd been avoiding since the incident was now stronger and accompanying it was a familiar sensation from her childhood, loneliness.

She knew no one would hear her misery now, it was ok, she could finally release her feelings.

"Ughh! I hate feeling like this!" she yelled as her repressed emotions came afloat and her room filled with faint sobs and cries.

"When I was with him.." she began as she remembered when she'd woken up next to him.

"I… I felt good" she finished with more tears sliding down her cheeks.

The sentiment of regret and guilt for hurting his feelings now cursed her, both tormenting her because of her dealings that morning.

'Why did it have to be you?' Asuka thought as more tears gushed out.

"It's no point.." she said faintly as her previous depression enclosed her.

"The truth is… I.. I like.." her voice now cracking as more tears started pouring.

"No.. I can't like him!" she said dimly trying to convince herself otherwise

Her plan had failed miserably, no matter how many times she denied it, the truth was that he had gotten through.

"Why? Why do you make me feel like this?" she asked lowly as her sobs intensified.

Asuka was hysterical, her pillow had a wet spot underneath her head as the tears slowly dropped on it.

"It was the only.." she stopped through sobs "I did what I had to!" she finished.

"**Fiiiiich**!" Asuka screamed to herself.

It had been difficult for her to accept it, she'd been trying to reject it from the start, from after they'd defeated **Israfael**.

She had denied it to herself the whole time, the thought of it was insulting to the core, but she was deemed helpless as time progressed, the truth was she was becoming more drawn to him ever since.

However it was simply that for a time, a slight attraction towards him, nothing more, but it wasn't long after that she started experiencing strange sensations. She constantly craved for his attention, especially when he looked at Ayanami instead of her, but she always managed to keep his interest hooked on her by teasing him with her body's newly found attributes and even then she thought nothing of it, it was just her competitive way, she refused under any cost to let wonder girl beat her at anything, including looks.

It was after their first kiss things started changing, she could no longer hide behind those excuses, there was something else, he made her feel different, but she couldn't allow herself to fall victim to those sentiments so she neglected their existence though some of her actions proved otherwise.

This morning she'd been confronted by her past self, it was the Asuka that had first set foot on Japan. An Asuka that wasn't fond of people, that wasn't fond of Shinji and that for the longest time hadn't known what it was to feel cared for.

During the last couple of days he'd smashed through most of her barriers, he was getting through and out of fear and pride she'd rejected him but it had already been too late. She didn't want to admit that "The Great Asuka Langley Sohryu" liked a shy boy with black hair and blue eyes, that she liked Shinji Ikari**.**

Upon this realization Asuka continued sobbing and mourning thoroughly for a few more minutes.

It was after a while that her body gave in to the stress and anguish and shut itself down, leaving her in a deep slumber atop of her bed.

_**Sometime later elsewhere in Tokyo-3**_

Shortly after Touji had left with the rest of the group, Asami asked Shinji to walk her home, he really didn't mind the extra walking, being next to her helped him forget about Asuka, not to mention he also enjoyed her company, so he gladly accepted.

As they made their way towards her house Shinji gazed at the beautiful brunette that was holding his hand, the moon's shine gave her light green eyes an even lighter tone making them seem somewhat transparent. To him, this made them look even more gorgeous.

Asami blushed lightly as she noticed Shinji's eyes gaze deeply into hers.

"What is it Shinji?" the girl asked timidly.

Shinji reddened as he realized he'd been staring at her the whole time and not said a single word.

"Oh sorry.. It's just… Well.. You're really pretty Asami" he said shyly.

Asami blushed at Shinji's compliment and let out a few nervous giggles before saying "well you're pretty cute yourself" she then giggled some more and gave his hand a light squeeze.

Shinji's cheeks were pink, no one had ever said that about him, at least that he knew about.

"I… Uhhm.. Thank you" he said mumbling nervously.

Asami giggled at his reaction, she found him to be even cuter when he blushed and became more timid.

"You're really shy Shinji" Asami said openly.

"Yeah… Sorry" Shinji said apologetically.

"Don't be silly" Asami said and giggled "I like that about you" she finished leaving the boy flushed again.

They continued talking through the entirety of the walk, sometimes making each other blush and other times burst out in laughter. When they finally reached Asami's home Shinji realized it wasn't as far as he'd expected, he estimated that it was briefly a twenty minute walk from his home, which really wasn't that much at all.

Shinji looked at the apartment building, it was very similar to Rei's apartment except it wasn't run down, it actually looked like an excellent place to live. It was seven stories high and had the hallways to the apartments on the outside of the building, so one had a good view of a portion of the city the minute they stepped out of the apartment.

Both teens stood outside the edifice looking at each other, their hands gripping tightly as both knew they finally had to depart from one another.

"Shinji.. I had a lot of fun with you today" Asami said sincerely.

"Me too Asami, thank you for making Touji invite me" Shinji said chuckling a little.

"No Shinji, thank YOU for everything…" Asami said suddenly becoming a tad more serious and gazing at the floor.

"You know.." Asami began "this is where I first truly met you" she admitted quietly and looked at him.

"What do you mean Asami?" Shinji asked a tad thrown since previous to the current day he hadn't really met her.

Asami was trembling frivolously, so far he'd never seen her like this before, her hand was shaky and he could see tears forming and accumulating on the white of her eyes.

A few seconds of silence passed and both teens gazed at each other's eyes, Shinji saw a few tears make their way down her cheek as she opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again, as if not being able to find the words she needed.

After a few more seconds Asami wiped her tears off and opened her mouth yet again to speak.

"I… I was trying to get to a… a shelter with my mother" Asami stopped as more tears managed to roll down her cheeks and a few sobs came out "and.. and an angel had entered the city" she said faintly through another sob.

"Asa-" Shinji started to say but was cut off when she gently placed a finger over his mouth.

"I was standing right here" Asami said pointing to the ground as she started to recall the day.

Asami had been absent from school that day, she hadn't felt well enough to go, from the minute she'd woken up she had a low fever and her monthly cramps.

Her mother had gone out around noon to buy groceries and had solemnly swore to not take long, so Asami having nothing else to do had taken to watching TV while she waited for her mother's return.

She was halfway through the movie when the angel sirens throughout the city went off, a chill ran down her spine at the sound of the horrid alarms.

Asami immediately got up and ran towards the door swiftly as adrenaline rushed through her and all symptoms of her illness and cycle had dissuaded. As she opened the door she saw a massive creature near the center of the city, a few streets away from her home, ravaging through everything in its path.

She knew the drills, she had to get to the nearest shelter and wait for the angel to be disposed off, that's what they had taught her at school, but after seeing the angel she was afraid to go out there and who could blame her, the abomination was tearing through buildings like paper.

Asami stood idle as the creature neared her home, she was terrified, tears poured out as she saw the homes of friends and family collapse into rubble.

She would've stayed in shock had it not been for a desperate yell coming from the staircase to her left "Asami where are you?! Asami we have to go now!" it was her mother.

"Mom! I'm here!" she screamed back as she ran towards her mother who was climbing the stair case.

Asami ran faster than she'd ever run in her whole entire life and she was soon in the comfort of her mother's arms as they engaged in a tight embrace, both relieved to see each other alive and well.

"Asami, Darling why didn't you go to the shelter!" her mother admonished with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry mother! I was so scared!" she said through sobs.

Her mother gave her a kiss on the forehead and broke the hug as she tugged her out the building saying "Hurry we have to get to the shelter fast!".

As soon as they stepped out the building they saw the gigantic being at a few meters distance, it was moving straight towards them.

The violet colored angel had a cylindrical body whose upper anatomy resembled an arthropod as there were crab like extensions covering it, meanwhile it possessed two short arms that each included a pink glowing retractable limb that moved through the air like a tentacle in water, its head was similarly shaped to a metal part of a shovel with what appeared to be two yellow irises symmetrically placed on the forepart of it.

Asami felt Goosebumps as she remembered the scene, she was sure that was to have been her and her mother's end, but something occurred, Shinji occurred.

Before **Shamshel** was able to continue its path and crush them in the process, Unit-01 had come out of the geo-front via launch pad and engaged the angel mere seconds before Asami and her mother would've been flattened.

The angel spun around and engaged unit-01 using one of his glowing limbs in a slashing manner, however Unit-01 dodged the attack and after several minutes of hand to hand confrontation the angel was disposed off after Unit-01 pierced the angel's core with a progressive knife.

At the time Shinji didn't know it, but he had saved Asami and her mother's life.

She finished the story in tears, her hands shaky as she tried to wipe the tears off.

"I had to let you know.." she stopped and breathed slowly trying to calm her leaking eyes "that I appreciate all you do for us" she finished.

"Asami.." Shinji said as he began to hold her in his arms.

"My mother and I.." she paused "are alive because of you" she finished as she cried deeply on his shoulder.

Shinji was at a loss for words, he hadn't expected this, it's no wonder she had been so nice to him this whole time, but there was something about that which bothered him.

Eventually Shinji decided to dismiss the thought for the time being and continued consoling the weeping girl.

They both embraced each other for a few more minutes until Asami stopped crying and eventually separated to call it a night.

Asami held Shinji's hand as she planted a wet kiss on his lips, it was mostly superficial as she bit his lower lip gently and then moved on to massage his upper lip with her own. Even though they had already shared a more passionate kiss, this one had been the one with most emotion behind it, there was no concern about anything around them, it was only them, their hushed thoughts and their lips.

Asami pulled off slowly leaving a thread of saliva hanging from both ends of their lips that eventually fell off as she gave Shinji a smile noticing he had enjoyed it as much she had.

"Bye Shinji, I'll see you at school" she said and gave him a wink.

"Bye Asami" Shinji said and returned the smile as she started walking away and their hands left each other's hold.

He stood there watching the dazzling brunette in her black dress walk into the building and disappear behind concrete and shortly after, he left the building and began his new journey.

Shinji walked home with a strange feeling, so much had happened since he'd woken up. He felt strange about Asami, about what she had told him, it made him feel a slight remorse.

When he had first seen her, he'd agreed to watch a movie with her for the sake of forgetting Asuka, he had used her, and even thought of her as a replacement for Asuka.

'Am I just using her now?' he asked himself as he walked through the packed streets.

Moral questions started to enter his mind, Shinji had begun to like the girl, but he wasn't exactly certain if it was for the right reasons.

'But Asu-' Shinji started thinking but stopped midway not wanting to finish the thought.

Not liking the thoughts that wandered around his mind Shinji quickly dismissed them, he simply didn't want to feel any sort of guilt for being with Asami.

The rest of the walk back home was uneventful, Shinji's loneliness slowly crept back to him, he had managed to escape its clutches when he had been near Asami, she had distracted him from his problems, but at the end of the day, they were still there, they never left.

A conflicted Shinji made his way up the stairs to his apartment and stood idle next to the front door. He was afraid to enter, he didn't want to see her again and he wasn't ready too either.

Shinji hesitantly swiped his access card on the key scanner and slowly turned the handle to open the door. The door made a few creaks as he slowly turned it revealing the apparently desolate apartment, after looking around from the outside he quietly stepped in while gently closing the creaking door behind him.

He made his way to through the dark hallway as quiet as he could, he would freeze in his tracks every now and then when he heard a petite sound coming from somewhere in the apartment and thought it was Asuka.

After much stealthy moving he finally reached his room's door and slid it open, at first glance he found it the same as he had left it, but after a second look he noticed a mess where his desk was, a closer inspection would reveal that his savings under his desk had been accessed to.

"Asuka.." he said dimly as his fists clenched, suddenly the hate he'd felt for her this morning returned, ire ran through him as he recalled her harsh words and actions.

He closed the door and murmured unintelligible phrases as he changed to his pajamas and hid his savings deep in his closet hopping the red head wouldn't find them there.

Being exhausted from the day's activities he finally threw himself flat on the bed and in a matter of seconds disconnected himself from his surroundings.

_**Sometime later**_

Shinji woke up to the familiar faint sobs seeping through the walls, out of instinct he stood up and began heading towards his door, however after slowly regaining some of his consciousness and remembering the day's events he returned to his bed and tried falling back asleep.

He must've tried for what seemed like an eternity before he finally gave up, he couldn't rest peacefully hearing her sob like that, he'd gotten used to the idea of going to console her during the night and not going seemed wrong, it was rather unnatural.

Slowly her sobs made their way into his head, he was reminded of the feeling of happiness he'd had when she'd calmed down and snuggled with him. Up to now he hadn't really broken down about the incident, he'd been too distracted the whole day, but now that he was here alone, he felt the pain from the wounds recur.

He held it in at first, he didn't want to cry over it but alas after a few minutes he finally caved in and began to weep quietly on his bed, pressing his head down on the pillow to muffle each of the sobs.

'Asuka.. I only wanted to make you happy' he said mentally as he continued to whimper.

'This was my fault, I never had a chance to begin with' he countered himself.

"I should've never risked it!" he said letting out a soft gasp for air through the sobs.

'I'm.. I'm sorry!' he yelled mentally at himself.

'How was I so careless' he reflected through muffled sobs.

He had always helped her, never asked for anything in return, even before he'd realized his feelings for her.

Asuka on the other hand, she'd never taken the time to help him, not unless it was convenient for her somehow, it had always been about her but even so, he'd never cared, because he enjoyed seeing her content.

"How was I to know it would hurt so much!" he yelled at his pillow and pounded the bed with his fists.

'For fucks sake! What did I do to deserve feeling like this!' he shouted mentally with streams of tears making their way down his cheeks.

'Everyone always leaves me!' he continued shouting mentally.

"Mother left me! Father left me! My uncles never even cared! And she hates me!" he finished crying out making it echo throughout his room.

'At least I have Asami' he compensated himself and calmed himself down.

'But even she only likes me because I pilot the eva!' he thought remembering her confession.

Not knowing how to calm himself down Shinji reached into his pocket erratically and pulled out his SDAT player. He put on the headphones and hit the play button, this had always been his go to escape from the world since he was little, since his father had abandoned him.

The SDAT player had at some point belonged to his father, he found it ironic that the one item that gave him security and tranquility had been owned by the man that had caused him so much torment and suffering.

It took about two tracks for his sobs to finally die down and after much reflection and several more tracks he started to drift from reality once again, but not before muttering something out.

"I.. still… care" he said faintly in an almost unconscious state.

_**The next morning**_

Darkness surrounded the room as the two stared at each other. The only visible things apart from them were the pitch black window panels, the kabalistic symbols engraved in white across the ceiling and floor and of course the iconic desk the commander sat behind.

He wiped the blood from his face still shaken by the outcome of the events, he hadn't planned on taking her life, but it didn't matter now, his hands had been stained with her blood.

He locked his eyes on the grin the figure had, he wondered if he'd known, if this had all been part of his elaborate plan.

"Tell me, was this part of your scenario?" He asked the man he called father once who was sitting behind the desk.

"No, I expected you to grasp the bigger picture" the commander replied as his right hand pushed his gleaming glasses back into place.

"Your used them!… You used me!" he yelled back at the figure who seemed to be handling the situation with too much calm.

"Yes" the man said coldly and interlocked his hands back together.

"How frank, is that really all you have to say?" he asked the commander sickened by his crude response.

"I'm not the first, I also won't be the last" Gendo answered openly.

"Don't worry, the committee will be taken care of too" Shinji said with scorn in his voice.

"Do as you wish, but I can bring them back to you" The man said with an evil grin.

"Had you not done anything none of this would've happened!" Shinji retorted and drew his gun out.

He held it firmly with both hands as the end of the barrel pointed towards his father, it was heavier than he'd remembered and he was having second thoughts about his next action.

Tears formed in his eyes, had it really been so long since he'd held her in his arms, since he'd held them both.

Shinji had believed in a more promising future, one where she and him could leave this all behind them, but he'd been robbed of it, he'd been cheated out of his happiness and instead forced to live this torment, and it was because of the man he'd renounced as his father.

There was no doubt about it, he had to redeem himself, this was his final atonement, whatever happened afterwards mattered not, he had to avenge him.

He'd been warned about the line few are willing to cross, he'd been warned that becoming a man didn't mean getting older and he'd been warned about the dangers of love.

"This is for them!" the boy yelled and pulled the trigger.

'**Blaaaam!**' was the sound heard that resonated in the confined spaces of the office.

"Noooo!" Shinji woke up screaming covered in sweat.

It had been another one of his dreams, similar in strangeness to the other ones he'd had all week, the only notable difference being that Asuka hadn't appeared anywhere.

'What's happening to me?' he asked himself trying to make sense of the murderous thoughts running through his mind.

'Did.. Did I kill..' he began to think back to the dream but found if impossible to recall most of the events.

Not wanting to delve more into the odd thoughts surrounding the dream Shinji focused on his rumbling stomach. The last time he'd eaten something was the day before when he was at the mall with Asami a few minutes before he'd walked her home.

He smiled at the reminiscence of the time he'd spent with her, it had been so perfect, not once had he thought about Asuka.

Shinji let out a sigh as she popped back into his mind, he had hoped something could form between him and Asuka, up to that point she'd been his first kiss and the first girl he'd started to like more than a friend, but whatever the case there was no point in lamenting the situation now, life moved on, and so did she.

Shinji stood up groggily and headed towards his door, his legs trembling with each step he took. Despite having rested more than seven hours it hadn't been a satisfactory sleep, Asuka's sobs woke him up from time to time and it was hard to ignore them.

He slid open his door and looked over at Asuka's room, his primal instinct ordered him to go there and hug her, but he'd already been scarred for doing that before, he couldn't risk himself anymore, and so he turned around and walked over to the kitchen.

Once there he took in the sigh of pen-pen sleeping on the place where Shinji and his roommates ate their food, the table.

'This can't be sanitary' he thought as he gently picked the bird up and headed to the living room to place him on the couch.

'He's just like his owner' he thought as he glanced back at the empty alcoholic cans scattered around the table.

Shinji placed the unconscious bird on the couch and headed towards the kitchen again.

'God damn it.. I just cleaned it yesterday too!' he complained mentally as he looked at the mess in the sink, and around the table.

"It's always me…" he sighed as he began to clean up the clutter around the table first.

It took him around fifteen minutes to sort everything out and he smiled at the finished product, the kitchen was now more decent looking.

The table was now null of any beer cans or debris, on the carpet floor there were no longer any stain marks from food or any garbage lying about, and finally all the dirty plates in the sink had been washed and properly stacked on the plate rack.

'Not to shabby' he thought.

Now that he was done cleaning he could finally focus on the task at hand, his hunger. He wasn't going to get to fancy today so he considered making scrambled eggs, he'd seen a recipe a while back that he considered was worth giving a try, its name was _Scrambled & Wild_.

He proceeded to get the ingredients required which consisted of six eggs, some celery, butter, wild rice, green pepper, black pepper and salt.

First he began by chopping the celery and mixing it with green pepper, following this he placed a thin cube of butter on the frying pan and turned on the stove so it would eventually melt under the heat, this would prevent the food from getting stuck onto the pan's surface.

While the butter slowly dissolved he carefully cracked each one of the eggs by its middle and spewed its contents into a bowl while mixing it with a fork and before long the six eggs had become a homogenous and thick yellow liquid.

He added the salt, black pepper, raw wild rice, and the celery mixed with green pepper to the bowl all while the small cube of butter finished liquefying in the pan.

Now it was a process of waiting and scrambling, he added the contents of the bowl to the pan and after around six minutes breakfast was ready.

Cooking was something else for him, a means to escape reality, similar to his SDAT player, and he enjoyed every minute of it.

He took three dishes and pen-pen's bowl and served an equal amount for each person in the house, even Asuka.

Despite what had occurred yesterday he was determined to leave it behind him, sure he harbored profound resentment towards her but the fact remained that he still cared for the stubborn pilot, still he wouldn't give her the benefit of seeing him affected.

He was hopeful that Asami could help him mend the wounds left by Asuka and maybe even forget about her in due time, still, it would be a long process and he couldn't avoid the subject he'd neglected the night before.

The answer to his question, though he hated to admit it was yes, he was using her to forget about Asuka, that's not to say he didn't like her though, her charisma and positive attitude were what had captivated him the most.

It was several seconds later that Shinji's mental analysis came to a sudden stop as a barely dressed Misato stepped out of her room and into the hallway thanks to the smell of the now finished breakfast.

"**Aaauuuooowwwhhhh**!" she yawned and stretched both arms out as she neared the kitchen.

"Morning Shinji" she greeted him with a smile and headed for the fridge.

"Hey Misato" he responded back warmly.

"Great timing, breakfast is ready" he stated as he finished placing the plates and the bowl on the table.

"It smells great! What'd you make for us today?" Misato asked eagerly from the inside of the fridge.

"A recipe I found a while back for scrambled eggs" he responded as he sat down in front of his plate.

"That's great… Hmm.. Where could… Hmmm" Misato struggled as she searched through the inners of the fridge.

"What is it Misato?" he asked intrigued.

"There's no beer" she responded with a hint of sadness in her voice.

Shinji chuckled at his guardian's behavior, it was supposedly her tradition to gulp down an entire can of beer in the mornings.

"Well, there's plenty of coffee left Misato" he said as he stood up and got another cup to serve coffee in.

"Yeah… Whatever.." Misato said as she took her seat and began to eat.

"You know, your liver's thanking you right now" he said admonishingly.

"You don't know what you're missing out on Shinji!" she said convincingly.

"What? Anemia, Cirrhosis, Cardiovascular Disease or am I missing something?" he asked her playfully.

"One drink won't harm anyone, plus it could help loosen you up" she instigated him as she took another spoonful of her food.

"We've been over this Misato… I'm fourteen, I can't" he retorted his guardian whilst sipping from his coffee cup.

"You're pretty dull for your age" she acknowledged to him.

Shinji sighed and rolled his eyes as he took another sip of his coffee.

"Fine.." she said in defeat as she continued digging in on her food.

Misato was the first to finish breakfast between the two, this was not surprising seeing as Shinji took relative long to eat most of his meals. She hastily dumped her dirty dish in the sink, thanked Shinji with a supposedly parental hug that made the boy blush and then trailed off into the bathroom where she took a hot shower.

Apparently she had something important to do with Kaji so she showered and dressed hurriedly and before Shinji knew it she had left the apartment again.

Misato wasn't there much often now, between work, partying, and getting wasted Shinji was surprised he even got to see her today, most days she'd leave before both teens woke and come back when they were already sleeping, something important must've been happening at Nerv, because her and Kaji were always together.

Shinji stood up from the seat and took his plate into the sink where he then proceeded to wash it along with the rest of the dirty implements he'd used to make breakfast. After he was done drying them and placing them neatly in their respective locations he exited the kitchen and walked over to his room.

The boy stopped any movement and became paralyzed as he saw the ravishing red head in front of him, both their eyes locking onto one another's, both speechless.

_**A few minutes earlier**_

It had been a restless night, she'd woken up various times throughout it from horrific nightmares and into the middle tormenting thoughts and Goosebumps.

She had been expecting him to be next to her at the break of dawn like before but was quickly disappointed upon meekly opening her eyes and realizing she was in utter loneliness.

From the previous night she knew this would be an ongoing issue, she couldn't hide it from herself anymore, she liked the '**baka**', however that still didn't change the fact that he'd kissed that whore the day before.

Asuka stared into the ceiling and wondered how he'd even met the girl, she knew all of Shinji's friends but despite that this was the first time she'd seen her, and the first time she'd seen Shinji willingly take supremacy over something of the sorts.

She was still very confused over the events, but she knew better than to keep delving into thoughts that would just lead her in never-ending circles.

However there was still the problem on how she'd deal with Shinji, the truth was there was a feeling of betrayal present in her even though she herself had affirmed various times there was nothing between the boy and herself.

It still didn't matter, there was nothing she could do now, there was no chance in hell she'd swallow her pride, it was too hard, and even if she did, what would she tell him? That she's sorry? That she never meant it?

None of the choices deemed easy, each involved her degrading herself and going back on something she'd said and even then there was no guarantee he would still feel the same, if he ever did in the first place.

'Perhaps I did do the right thing' she considered as she stood up, stretched and then headed towards the door.

An almost immediate aroma of food was sensed by the red head the minute she'd woken, but it was only up till now that it had made her hunger rouse and from the smell of it, it was Shinji's cooking.

'God I want to bash his face in' she wished deeply as she reached her room's entrance and a grin formed on her lips.

'We'll see how you kiss that idiot with no mouth, bitch' she said to herself as she slid the door open and left her room.

As she walked down the hallway and imagined various ways of inflicting pain onto both the girl and Shinji her daydreams where quickly found interrupted as the figure of the boy came into view when he stepped around the corner.

They both came to a sudden stand as they glared into one another, their eyes reflected their confound and mixed feelings as they quickly changed from glares to deep penetrating stares whilst the pair tried to decipher one another's thoughts and mind-sets.

The deep gazes and flaring glares was the only communication between the two as a dreadful silence began to surround them, the muteness from both parties becoming deafening to each one as it came with the uncomfortable situation where neither knew what to say.

Obligating himself Shinji spoke out, the transpired time had been longer than enough and he simply couldn't decode her, not that he ever really could to begin with.

"Your breakfast is served" he said and maintained locked on her daunting gaze.

"I.. That's.. Than.." she muttered confused at his statement as his reaction was unexpected.

'Is he acting like it never happened!?' she asked herself internally.

"Well I would sure hope so **dummkopf**!" she quickly said haughtily flicked her finger across his forehead.

"You wouldn't want to keep me waiting.. Would you?" she asked him threateningly and gave him another glare as she walked of into the kitchen.

Shinji gave her another look, she seemed different, something was off, but at the same time she was acting her usual self, just like he was.

'What's going on?' he wondered a tad perplexed.

"Of course not Asuka" he said rolling his eyes and turned to enter his room shutting himself from the rest of the outside world.

Truth be told he had expected the encounter go far worse, he'd imagined something along the lines of Asuka making fun of him for thinking that they could've actually had something going, still, her behavior didn't fully displease him although it pained him to see she'd moved on like it had been nothing, but it didn't matter now, Asami would help him deal with it.

_**Meanwhile back at the kitchen**_

If she had to be honest with herself things couldn't have gone better, Shinji was acting like his usual self and she'd managed to keep from beating him senseless, yet the fact that he was behaving so normal only made her wallow in irritation.

'Why the hell is he being so casual about it!' she pondered as she took a seat by the table and began to wolf down her breakfast.

Asuka's eating time at the table rarely lasted more than two minutes as she was a complete vacuum when it came to her meals, at times even Misato stared gawk eyed at how fast she removed any edible content from her plates.

This time was no exception, she finished her food and discreetly placed the dishes on the sink and suddenly she realized just how quiet the apartment was, it was like she was all alone again.

She slowly walked to his door and had the urge to apologize to him, perhaps tell him that she too possessed strong found feelings towards him, but alas there was no use, she couldn't bring herself to do it, instead she looked deeply at the thin fabric his door was made of as if trying to see him through the barrier that separated them.

She stood there for several minutes before letting out a soft sniffle and heading towards her room where like the boy, she too enclosed herself in her own personal shell from the world.

Asuka spent the majority of the day in her room, at times she would peak out to see if he'd finally come out and upon realizing he hadn't, she'd slither back onto her bed and wait silently as her mind raced in different directions.

It was some time later that Asuka decided to head over to the balcony as she was not able to stand the perpetual boredom her room offered, she took seat on the concrete bench where countless memories of staring of into the city with the boy were made, all at miles distance now.

The now late morning was in full view, the sun stood in the middle of the sky and its heat irradiated the city, from a distance she could hear the constant sound of motorized vehicles honking and their engines roaring, everything was as it always was and yet for her, it wasn't, everything was changing.

A lot of things were on her mind, many of them involving him. No matter what she tried she simply couldn't get him out of her head, everywhere she looked she'd reminisce about something she'd done with him previous to their discussion and the sour feeling of having seen him kiss that girl was always present, not once did it stop tormenting her, it was a leech on the inners of her chest.

She was also burdened by the fact that she'd had to go the extra mile to get a kiss from him, she'd even had to resort to bringing in his deceased mother into the argument regarding it, and that girl, she'd done it so easily, so straightforwardly, with little to no resistance from the boy.

'That bitch…' she thought angrily as kept her gaze fixed on the grand city that stood before her.

All her constant teasing, her provocative choices of clothes around him and he'd never once tried anything and that girl shows up and he's willing to give her more than he ever did to her.

What was she supposed to feel? Bitterness? Was she supposed to feel angry that she'd beaten her so easily? No, she wouldn't give him the pleasure of seeing her feel anything over him.

She managed to convince herself that this was merely a childish crush that would disperse with time, there was nothing more to it, there simply couldn't be.

_**Author's notes**_

Sorry for the two week delay guys, to be honest I was thinking of delaying it until next weekend as well but I decided to cut the last part of the chapter that still wasn't finished and just upload what I had, don't worry the other part will be included in the next chapter.

Sorry if I can't upload more frequently, midterms are coming and what a pain in the ass they are, so don't worry if I don't upload in two weeks, I will finish this story, I'm not one to leave things half started.

Special thanks to 'Seeking Professional Help' and 'ChaddyManPrime' for reading through my rough drafts and correcting me on errors regarding OC characterization.

Any feedback is always welcome and thanks for reading.

Yours truly, JCM.


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